The Fallen
by solitaryloner
Summary: For my reviewer K-chan. Inspired by Black Vow, but different from the song. Everything happens for a reason, whether you know it or not. I know that I can't touch her, because I don't want the same things to happen all over again. But day by day, it gets harder to resist her, and I don't know for how much longer can I pretend that I don't care about her. LenXMikuXYuma.
1. Chapter 1

_They say that everything happens for a reason...even the smallest things, things that seem completely inconsequential, have an effect upon someone. Something._

_But me, do I affect anyone? If I were to disappear from the face of this earth, would anyone mourn me? Would anyone miss me? Would anyone even remember who I am?_

Miku Hatsune sighed and stared up at the imposing boarding school her parents had sent her away to. Her wealthy parents had never cared for her, and she got the feeling that they preferred money over their own daughter.

Maybe other people would feel hurt, degraded, insulted by this lack of care and attention. Maybe others would have fought to stay at their homes, so they could continue being with their friends. But Miku?

She didn't care. There was nothing left for her, back at her home far away - she didn't have any friends, not that she could recall. Her parents scarcely even remembered that their daughter existed, was living and breathing - they hadn't even come to send her off.

They hadn't remembered that today, the day she had left for this boarding school on the other side of the world, was also the day of her seventeenth birthday. Miku's fingers clenched into fists, at her sides.

She stared at the imposing, enormous school. It had an ancient feel about it - somehow, the place reminded her of a church. It was Gothic, with its tall spires and elaborate sculptures everywhere. From outside the gates, she could see that the stone walls were lined with old torch-holders.

_This looks like a school meant for snobs and the upper-class-men. I'm not surprised that Father and Mother sent me to this school - they wouldn't settle for anything less than old money. Nothing matters more to them than their reputation, after all._

''Thank you,'' she spoke as the chauffeur of the limousine which had driven her here from the airport placed her luggage bags on the ground. He straightened, nodding his head.

''Is there anything else, Miss?'' he asked kindly. Miku smiled at him and shook her head.

''I can carry my own bags from here on,'' she said politely, bidding the chauffeur farewell. He inclined his head, then started walking away, back to the limousine. Leaving her here, stuck in this school, for the rest of the year.

_Am I supposed to just walk in? Or do I wait outside here for someone to notice me? And...how am I supposed to make any friends?_

The last question, she decided to set aside for later. After standing outside for a minute or so, she finally decided to walk into the imposing school herself. The black, iron gates were intimidating, but determinedly she picked up her luggage and strode past the gates, into the school she was going to call home.

Following the well-worn path beneath her feet, she found her way to what appeared to be the main office of the school. She stood, hesitant, in front of the closed door, suddenly losing her nerve. She hated the thought of walking inside and having to talk to a stranger.

Miku had never liked talking to strangers. She didn't know how to communicate with people - needless to say, she was not what one could consider an outgoing person. It just wasn't in her nature, to talk to people.

But neither could she stand outside here, forever, waiting for someone to usher her in. _I don't need to be led around like a blind, helpless child. I can walk into the office and ask for my room, surely._

Ignoring the growing ache in her arms, which came from carrying her two heavy bags, she twisted the doorknob of the office door. The door swung forward, inviting her inside the school's main office, and taking a deep breath she stepped inside, preparing herself for inevitable communication.

The bored-looking secretary glanced up, staring at her. Miku cleared her throat. ''My name is Miku Hatsune, and I'm a new student here...'' she bit nervously on her lower lip. ''May I know my timetable and my room number?'' As she spoke, she set her heavy bags on the floor - they seemed to weigh a tonne.

''Just a minute,'' the secretary smiled and turned to her computer, her fingers flying over the keyboard. Miku could hear the tapping of the secretary's long nails against the keys. After a while, she spoke. ''Your room number is 0218. The girl's dorms are past this office. Just keep walking straight, then turn right at the first branch you see.''

''Okay,'' Miku said absently, reaching out to take the keys the secretary had placed on the table. ''When do classes start, by the way?''

''On Monday, two days from now. Classes start at seven, every morning, except on Fridays. On Fridays classes start at eight. And there's no school on Saturdays and Sundays.'' The secretary rattled all of this off without pause, and Miku blinked. The schedule seemed more lenient, compared to her old school.

''And here's your schedule, Miss Hatsune,'' the secretary handed her a sheet of paper. Miku took it, staring at the timetable. _Well, boarding schools aren't actually all that different from day schools, are they?_

''Thank you,'' Miku smiled at the secretary and picked up her bags once again, walking out of the office. She continued on the path, and as the secretary told her, she turned right at the first branch she encountered.

After she walked in silence for a while, she finally caught sight of the girl's dorms. It was a small building, made of the same old grey stone as the rest of the school. Though it wasn't very big, it was still rather grand, and once more Miku hesitated, nervous.

Before she could change her mind about going in, she quickly opened the door and set foot inside the dorms. She looked around the lobby of the dorms - it was luxurious, looking more like a hotel than a dormitory.

There were several girls sitting on giant couches, watching television, and as she walked in they all turned to gawk at her. She swallowed and set down her bags. ''Hello,'' she said softly, unsure how to react.

''You're a new girl, aren't you?'' One of the girls sitting on the couches piped up. She was small-sized, with feathery blonde hair and large, limpid blue eyes. She had an aura of mischief about her, and for some strange reason Miku felt...relaxed around her.

She nodded, and the girl beamed. ''Nice to meet you! My name's Rin Kagamine,'' she bounced off the couch and went to Miku, vigorously shaking her hand. Miku just stood there, startled.

''What's your name, new kid?'' Another girl spoke, but this one sounded hostile. Miku flinched, looking down at the floor.

''Miku Hatsune,'' she stammered. The girl who had spoken snorted, flipping her long pink hair. Her blue eyes narrowed at her suspiciously.

''And once more, you come in,'' she muttered. ''God, will we never have a day of peace?''

Miku blinked, not knowing what the girl was saying. Rin shot her a look, then glanced back at Miku. ''That's Luka Megurine. Ignore her. She's in a bad mood today,'' she smiled.

Luka hissed, rising from the couch, along with two other girls, one with blonde hair and the other with blue. The trio walked past Miku without another word.

''The blue one is Kaiko Shion, and the blonde is Neru Akita,'' Rin informed Miku. ''They're always behaving like that, so don't worry about that.'' Rin stepped back from Miku. ''Anyway, I hope you have a great time here! What's your room number?'' she asked curiously.

Miku nibbled on her lower lip. ''Actually, I forgot...'' she confided. Rin began to laugh as Miku started fumbling clumsily in her pocket for the keys.

''I bet it's room 0218. It's the only empty room left,'' Rin giggled. ''Come on, I'll show you the way to your new room!''

Miku trailed after the enthusiastic girl, smiling to herself. Was it possible that...well...was it possible that she, Miku Hatsune, had actually made a friend?

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Rin glared at Luka, Neru and Kaiko. ''Can you please not say things like that?'' she hissed. ''Don't be so dumb, Luka! You almost gave it all away! Let him decide for himself, okay?''

''Huh,'' Luka rolled her eyes. ''We all know how much _he _tore himself up over her...remember that time he tried to kill himself because of her?'' Rin visibly flinched.

''Still, he can make his own decisions. Don't interfere, Luka. And Neru,'' her blue eyes slid over to the blonde girl. ''Kaiko, we shouldn't even be _talking _to them.''

The blue-haired girl sighed. ''I know that, Rin. We're different, and all that. But ultimately, we're all _his _friends. We're all sticking together because we don't want something bad to happen to him again, do we?''

''Not all of us are his friends, Kaiko,'' Neru spoke, sullen as always. ''Not all of us want him to succeed. One of our number would love to see him get torn up again.''

''Look, that isn't the main point. The thing is, we should just stay out of this. Let him handle it himself,'' Rin swept all three of them a stare. ''We understand that, don't we?''

The others nodded reluctantly. ''But it doesn't mean I'll be nice to her,'' Luka added. ''I just won't let anything slip.''

''Do what you want, Luka,'' Rin sighed as she turned away, ready to leave the room. ''Just make sure you leave them alone.''


	2. Chapter 2

Rin was chatting with Miku as she led her across the school grounds. After Rin had showed her to her room earlier, she had disappeared for a while - not that Miku had really minded, since she needed to unpack her things.

Once she had set her new room in order, though, Rin had reappeared at her room door, insisting upon showing her around the place. So she had agreed, going along with Rin as she led her out of the dorms to the courtyard.

''And over there is where everyone goes to eat during lunch,'' Rin chirped, pointing out at a corner of the courtyard. It was shaded by towering trees, and there were several people lounging around the thick tree trunks. Miku couldn't make them out, since they were just too far away.

''Isn't there a cafeteria?'' Miku asked hesitantly. Rin glanced at her and shrugged.

''Well, there _is..._but don't you find it cooler out under the trees?'' she said, full of enthusiasm. ''Not everyone eats out there, though. Most people eat in the cafeteria, actually. It's just some of us,'' she giggled. ''Including me.'' Miku's eyes widened as Rin took her hand. ''Hey, why don't you sit with me during lunch, on Monday?'' she smiled at her.

Miku nodded, a little uncertain. She had never been good at making friends, and meeting someone as friendly and cheerful as Rin, meeting someone who actually bothered to include her in anything...well, that made her feel a little weird.

''Then that's settled!'' Rin tugged on Miku's hand, bringing her closer to the trees...and the little group of people clustered there. Instinctively, Miku held back - they were strangers. And she hated talking to strangers.

Rin looked back at her, blue eyes softening. ''If you don't talk to strangers, Miku, you aren't going to make many new friends,'' she said softly. Miku knew that what Rin said made sense, but she still didn't like it.

Nevertheless, she allowed Rin to drag her closer to the group of people. They stared at her and Rin as they approached, making her feel rather uncomfortable, and she stared at the ground, refusing to meet their gazes.

''This is Miku Hatsune, people,'' Rin announced to the small group. ''She's new here, and we should all treat her nicely..._shouldn't we?_'' The last part sounded almost like a threat, and Miku stared at the petite blonde, unsure whether or not her ears were playing tricks on her.

''Yeah, Rin, we know, no need to go all demon on us now,'' a blue-haired boy rolled his eyes. He smiled at Miku. ''Hey. I'm Kaito Shion.''

''He's Kaiko's big brother,'' Rin murmured to Miku. ''But trust me, he's way friendlier than his sister is.''

The others introduced themselves after Kaito did, and Miku smiled back hesitantly at each of them. All of them said hello, except for one. Miku's eyes snapped to him, and he stared back at her, the only one who hadn't said anything since Rin's announcement.

Miku's first thought was that he was unbearably handsome. There was a resemblance to Rin, she noticed - they were probably twins. His cerulean eyes were cool as they met hers, and he had bright blonde hair which was tied up in a messy ponytail. His features were perfect, his cheekbones high and chiselled, his lips full and sensuous. Somehow, he reminded her of an angel, and he seemed...vaguely familiar.

Rin followed her gaze, and a small crease appeared on her forehead as she stared back at the boy. She turned to Miku, smiling once more, then said bye to the group and tugged Miku away, towards the rest of the campus.

As Rin led her away, Miku took one more glance back at the group. The boy was laughing now, laughing at something one of the others must have said. His blue eyes flickered up to meet hers, and he stiffened. His full lips tilted up into a slight smile as they stared at each other.

Then, the boy raised his hand...and flipped her off. Miku's eyes widened in outrage, and huffing she turned around, not bothering to respond to the gesture. So what if he was handsome? Did it give him the right to be so arrogant?

And what did she ever do to offend him? She had only _just _met the guy! She didn't even know what was his name, the jerk.

''That's Len Kagamine. He's my twin brother. The guy who just flipped you off,'' Rin sighed. ''I apologise for him. He's not usually so rude...I don't know what's the matter with him.''

''No, don't say sorry on his behalf. He's just a rude jerk, and I don't need his apology or anything,'' Miku snorted.

Rin shot her a look. ''That's the first time I've heard you be so...expressive! It's good to know that you aren't the meek little mouse you were when you first walked into the dorms.''

Miku smiled sheepishly. ''I just don't really like to talk much...'' she said honestly. ''It can be pretty intimidating. But I really don't like rude people who judge before knowing someone.''

Rin laughed. ''I guess you refer to my brother,'' she said knowingly. ''Really, he's not usually such a bad guy...''

Miku chose not to respond to that. ''So where do we normally have our classes?'' she asked.

Rin blinked, as though she hadn't heard her clearly. ''Oh. Lessons. Over there,'' she tilted her head towards the main school building. ''Of course. Let's go back...I'll show you around the classrooms on Monday instead.''

As Rin led Miku back to the girl's dorms, she took a large detour, avoiding the cluster of people they had talked to earlier. Miku wondered why, but she didn't make any comment, and Rin didn't say anything either.

''Hey, Kaito's having a party in his room, on Monday night. Why don't you come along?'' Rin suddenly suggested. Miku blinked, startled.

''Me?'' she echoed. ''Oh. I don't know, Rin...'' she hesitated. ''We've only just met, after all. Wouldn't it be weird for me to just tag along?''

''Oh, of course not!'' Rin chirruped. ''Kaito's known for his parties! It's his annual start-of-the-school-year party, and everyone's invited, friend or foe. It's a time to mix and mingle,'' she giggled. ''Get to know more people.''

Miku thought. ''I'll think about it,'' she said slowly. A sly grin crossed Rin's face.

''You should come. Kaito would love it if you did. I don't know how he does it, but he manages to sneak all kinds of food into his parties...even beer, which is prohibited on campus,'' Rin frowned. ''It's the highlight of his parties, the food. And the music. Kaito's good at mixing tracks,'' she wrinkled her nose.

''He sounds...fun,'' Miku said cautiously. From what she had seen of the blue-haired boy so far, he didn't seem like the type who would throw these type of wild gatherings. Then again, appearances could be deceiving.

She hadn't expected the angelic-looking Len Kagamine to be such a jerk, either. ''Where are the boy's dorms, then?''

''Remember the branch you met when you were walking to the girl dorms? Just turn left instead of right,'' Rin glanced up at her. ''You'll come, won't you? I know _I'm _going.''

_Because you're all one big group of friends...I'm not part of that group. So why are you being so nice to me? Is it because you treat me as a friend, even though no one else ever had?_

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_**Solitaryloner: **So Len makes his first appearance here! Even though he seems like a bit of a jerk, don't start hating him or anything. Everything happens for a reason, after all!_

_And incidentally, I'm still having some problems thinking of the title of the sequel to Romeo and Cinderella...does anyone have any suggestions? I welcome any ideas!_


	3. Chapter 3

It was Sunday. Miku woke up, stretching, as her alarm clock began ringing shrilly in her ear. Tiredly, she reached over and switched the ringer off. It was ten in the morning. Ugh. Why had she set her alarm so early?

Last night, she and Rin had talked about all kinds of things, so Miku had only went to sleep at around one. Rin had told her about the people she normally hung out with, and that had made Miku even more nervous of talking to them.

All of them had their own issues, though no one would be able to tell, just by looking at them. Though they all probably had money, since they were at this prestigious boarding school, they all had troubled pasts.

Most of them had once been engaged in some form of vice. Drinking, gambling, drugs, the like. Kaito, who seemed so nice and friendly, was still struggling with a thievery addiction. He always had the urge to steal.

Luka had a drug addiction, and when she went without drugs she became moody, temperamental and demanding. Rin told her that Luka had gone without her usual dose of drugs yesterday, which was why she had been so grumpy and irritable.

One of the people under the tree yesterday, Gakupo Kamui, liked to gamble. He had money to burn, of course, but he was addicted to that particular vice, and it was impossible to catch him without dice or a pack of cards.

Taito Shion, who was apparently Kaito's cousin, was a masochist who enjoyed hurting himself. He was always wrapped in bandages to cover the numerous wounds he inflicted on himself, and to tell the truth, he scared Miku a little.

Neru Akita loved messaging on her phone a little too much. Rin had told Miku, if you took Neru's phone away she'd go mad with worry. Which was strange, because how long could someone spend typing on their phone? Not that Miku was commenting on Neru's behaviour.

There were others who didn't seem to be as troubled as them. Piko Utatane seemed pretty friendly, as well as Gumi. Kaiko Shion also seemed normal enough, like Rin, though she didn't seem to like Miku much.

There was another one of their group Miku had yet to meet, apparently - VY2 Yuma. Or as he would rather be known as, Yuma. But from Rin's tone, Miku didn't think that Rin was particularly fond of this Yuma person.

And finally, Rin's own twin brother, Len Kagamine. Rin hadn't talked much about her brother, instead seeming to avoid the topic when it came to him. But Miku received the impression that Len was usually a nice enough guy, and that he didn't have any of the same addictions as most of the others.

Miku had then asked Rin, if the others had their own strange addictions to all those vices, then why were they here and not at some kind of rehabilitation centre?

Rin had then told her that they wanted to be like normal students, and lead normal lives, even with their addictions. They wanted to overcome all that through their own efforts, without external help. An internal battle, she had said, though Rin had also seemed to imply something else as she said those words.

Miku didn't know what other meaning those words had, though. If they actually had any. Because she might just be reading too much into Rin's expression.

Someone knocked on her door, and Miku thought it was probably Rin. She swung herself off the bed and went to her door, and when she opened it there stood the petite blonde, just as she had expected. ''You're up!'' Rin beamed.

''Yeah, I am,'' Miku suppressed a yawn, wondering how it was possible that Rin was so bright and energetic, so early in the morning. Especially when she probably hadn't had any more sleep than Miku herself had.

''Well, get dressed. Let's go out of the school for breakfast,'' Rin grinned. Miku gaped at her.

''Are we actually allowed to leave the campus without permission like that?'' she asked haltingly. Rin puffed her cheeks out.

''Well, actually...no,'' she admitted cheerfully. ''But Kaito has his own ways of getting out of the school without being caught. We always leave the campus on Sundays,'' her voice dropped to a conspiratorial whisper. ''Come with us! It'll be fun,'' she winked.

''Okay,'' Miku gave in to Rin's overwhelming enthusiasm. ''Just give me a minute, to get ready,'' as she spoke she ducked into her bathroom to change out of her pyjamas.

She could hear Rin whistling through the bathroom door, and she hurried, tugging on a simple black tee and a pair of short shorts. Hastily, she twisted her long teal hair into her usual hairstyle, two long ponytails, then left the bathroom. Rin glanced at her.

''That was fast,'' she commented. ''Let's go, Kaito gets impatient after a while!'' Turning on her heels, she strode out of the room, Miku trailing helplessly after her.

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Miku had to be impressed by Kaito's exit out of the school. He had led the both of them to one of the small gardens in the school's enormous backyard, then ducked below a small hole in the wall which had been hidden by some thick shrubs. Rin and Miku followed after him as he led the way off the campus.

''Where are all the others?'' Rin asked Kaito. Kaito shrugged, running his fingers through his dark blue hair as he waited for Miku to squeeze her way through the hole.

''Gumi's looking for Yuma...she doesn't want Yuma to get into more trouble and end up implicating her again,'' Kaito rolled his eyes. ''Piko overslept, so he won't be joining us. Kaiko and Neru are with Luka, who can't find her favourite drugs apparently. Taito's off hurting himself. Again. Gakupo's at MacDonalds.''

''MacDonalds? We're eating there?'' Miku's eyes widened as she tumbled out of the hole. Rin shot her an amused look.

''No. Gakupo's also a fast-food junkie. Kaito probably stole a picnic for breakfast, again,'' she wrinkled her nose. ''We always eat in the woods over there,'' Rin pointed at a thick patch of trees in the distance. ''It's peaceful there, and our food is nicer than the school's.''

''You guys really like nature, don't you?'' Miku mumbled. Kaito laughed, a strangely rich, vibrant sound.

''Well, isn't it good to be one with nature?'' he teased. His eyes snapped to Rin. ''Where's Len?'' he asked, and Miku stiffened. Rin noticed her reaction and sighed.

''Don't be surprised, Miku. Len's my brother, after all,'' she told her. ''And he's already at the usual place, probably eating all the food you left there. Like he always does.''

''He's a pig,'' Kaito muttered. ''Anyway, we'd better start moving. We both know what he's like. He'll yell his head off if we're too late.''

Rin shot Miku a look, then squeezed her hand reassuringly. ''Come on. He won't do anything bad to you. Or anything.''

Reluctantly, Miku followed Kaito and Rin into the woods, watching them walk through the woods confidently, like they knew precisely where they were going. Then again, they probably did.

After a while, they finally reached a clearing. Rin and Kaito stepped into it, but Miku hesitated at the edge, reluctant to follow them. She could see a blonde boy in the grassy clearing, leaning against one of the trees at the edge.

He had his eyes closed, and at that moment she was truly mesmerised by his...beauty. Handsome alone wasn't a good enough word to describe his looks. His hair fell messily around his face - it wasn't tied up today, and it reached his shoulders, the ends feathery-looking.

His long eyelashes cast faint shadows over his pale cheeks, and the expression on his perfect face was one of total ease. He looked...he looked like an angel. That was the first thought which came to mind. That Len Kagamine looked like an angel.

Rin turned when she realised Miku wasn't with her and Kaito. Raising her hand, she beckoned to Miku, gesturing at her to follow. Hesitantly, Miku stepped into the clearing after them.

Immediately, Len's eyes snapped open, cerulean blue meeting her forest green. His eyes narrowed as she froze, suddenly unable to move, her gaze captured by his. She suddenly felt like prey, transfixed by a predator's stare.

''What are you doing here?''


	4. Chapter 4

''Len,'' Rin said warningly. Her brother's cerulean eyes slanted over to her, filled with hostility. Yet at the same time his pose was so relaxed, so languid, that Rin almost couldn't believe that he was as tensed as he was.

_You'll frighten her, if you continue acting like that, _Rin said silently, wondering if her brother would pick up on her thoughts. His eyebrow arched at her, and he snorted silently, glancing away at the ground. Away from Miku.

His laugh sounded bitterly, in her head. _Really? Well, all the better, then. Isn't it a good thing for her to stay away from me? I'm not good for her, Rin - we all know that._

That was something Rin couldn't argue with, and she sighed, turning to face Miku. The human girl's green eyes were narrowed at Len, an obvious mix of confusion and suspicion in them as she stared at Rin's twin. Kaito coughed, breaking the tense silence.

''She's here to eat with us, of course,'' Kaito announced, stating the obvious. Len ran his fingers through his untied hair, obviously frustrated - he hadn't expected to have to face the girl today. It was too...soon, he didn't know how to react. What to say.

''Then I'm leaving,'' he mumbled, rising from the ground, brushing the dirt off his jeans. His lips tilted up into a cold smile - did Kaito and Rin intend to force him to stay in _this _girl's presence? It would be easier to tell him to kill himself. In fact, Len would rather do that than face her. _Her._

Miku glanced sharply away, and he didn't miss the look of hurt in her eyes. It made him feel guilty, that he had hurt her so, but he knew it was for her own good that he did this. That she hated him. Hate him, more and more - Len didn't care. ''Leave, then,'' her voice was as high and sweet as he remembered, and he stiffened. ''I didn't want to see you, either.''

_You really don't remember who I am? But I'm not surprised...you always forget who I am. But I can't forget, and that is what kills me inside. My eternal punishment, of course._

''I'm glad that has been understood by both parties,'' Len turned on his heel and stalked out of the clearing, his blue eyes narrowed at the surrounding trees. He ignored his sister as she stared at his retreating back - he could feel her eyes boring into him like twin laser beams. He knew she would give him hell for this later, but at that moment he didn't care.

Why should anyone bother about him and his opinions anyway? This Miku girl didn't know him. She obviously had no idea who he was - not that Len was surprised, since she always forgot him. She never knew who he was, ever, and he was glad to keep it that way. He dreaded to think of otherwise.

_When will the same thing happen to her again? If I don't get close to her this time, I won't have to watch the inevitable happen. I don't have to go through all that again._

Len stopped at the edge of the forest, his eyes scanning the surrounding undergrowth for signs of wildlife. He wanted to be sure that he was alone, before he let himself sink into one of his familiar trances. It didn't do him good to be so defenceless, while meditating.

Sinking into the soft grass, sitting cross-legged, Len tried to clear his mind of all the confusing, rampant thoughts. Seeing _her _always broke his inner peace, turned him confused and foolish. He had to do better than that, if he didn't want to be affected _this _time.

_Why is it that she always manages to find me, no matter how far away I run? Is it because we're cursed, bound that way? But I can't regret my decision, because I know that there was no better reason to do what I did._

_Though sometimes I wonder what it would be like, if I hadn't chosen that path so long ago. Would things be different? Would both her and I be suffering the way we are now?_

_...I'm supposed to be cleansing my thoughts. I give up. Maybe I'm not invincible after all. Or maybe it's because she's back. Seeing her yesterday...I don't know. I don't know what to think anymore. Why is it that she has such an effect on me? I want to forget. Forget everything. But I can't forget or regret her._

''You're going to be the death of me, Len,'' his sister's voice hissed at him, piercing through his muddled, senseless thoughts. His eyes flew open, and Rin was staring intently at him, a murderous light in her blue eyes. He hadn't heard her approach - well, stupid of him.

''I'm tired, Rin,'' he said simply. ''Don't make me get into another argument with you. You know you're just going to lose.''

''Do you know how much she can't stand you?'' his sister asked bluntly. ''Are you out to make her hate you or something? Because it won't work, Len - the curse will find a way. And if you don't seize your chance, you'll regret it more.''

Len's gaze fixed onto the ground. ''I'd rather regret this than what we could have,'' he said softly. ''Don't you understand, Rin? Would you rather I get close to her, then?''

''At least be more civil,'' Rin sighed and knelt on the forest ground next to him. ''You're acting like a rude, spoilt jerk, Len Kagamine.''

''I _am _a rude, spoilt jerk,'' he said matter-of-factly. ''And I don't want to be more civil. If I treat her as anything remotely resembling an acquaintance, the exact same thing will happen. The pattern will repeat once more.''

''You're being an idiot. She's going to...look, the main point is, she can't escape this cycle, and neither can you. Wouldn't it be better for you to make use of your time now?''

''You don't know how it feels, Rin!'' he snapped at his sister, eyes narrowing. ''I'm really tired,'' he continued in a softer voice. ''You should go back to her. She'll be lonely without you.''

''She'll be aching without you,'' his sister retorted, her lips set into a firm line. ''And you know that perfectly well, even if she doesn't.''

''Leave me alone,'' Len muttered sullenly. ''Don't talk about this anymore. I've made my decision, and I'm sticking by it.''

''You'll regret it, Len,'' Rin rose from the ground, her voice confident, carrying a warning. ''Don't say you weren't cautioned. We all know how this works. You'll succumb, eventually, and then you'll end up tearing yourself apart.''

''...Just leave me alone,'' he exhaled through his nose, frustrated. He already had things to think about, and he didn't want to get distracted by his sister. Or by _her._

Rin cast him a concerned stare. Concerned, but still filled with disbelief at his stupidity. Then with a slow shake of her head, she walked away. Finally giving him some peace and quiet. Len rubbed tiredly at his eyes.

He knew what Rin said made sense - he would succumb eventually. But he believed that so long as he _tried, _so long as he did his best to keep his distance, he wouldn't be so badly affected by the inevitable outcome.

_All I can do is try...and if she leaves me alone, if she ends up hating me, then I'll be more likely to succeed. And I need to succeed._

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''He's a jerk,'' Miku muttered, her eyes half-shut as she tore viciously into a peanut butter sandwich. An unimportant part of her mind noted that this was an excellent peanut butter sandwich - this was some good picnic food.

''He can be a jerk,'' Kaito agreed easily, shrugging. He bit off a chunk of ham from his egg and ham sandwich. ''He can also be nice to people he likes. Depends on whether you're on his good or bad side.''

''But I've never even spoken to the guy! What does he have against me?'' Miku protested, still in the midst of tearing her sandwich apart. She was just so...so frustrated! Who did that stupid Len Kagamine think he was?

''He's just being a jerk,'' Rin sighed, bursting into the clearing. Miku's eyes flicked up to her, wondering whether she had managed to speak to her twin brother. ''I couldn't find him anywhere...'' she shrugged, then her eyes met Kaito's. They held each other's stares for awhile. Miku glanced away, suddenly thinking of another question.

''Hey...Rin...'' Miku started nervously, breaking the silence between the three of them. ''Why are you being so nice to me?''

The blonde blinked at her, looking almost confused. ''Oh, because you're new...and I thought you'd need a friend!'' Rin smiled, suddenly exuberant and joyful as ever. Her serious mood had disappeared, as quickly as it came. ''Do you mind?'' she whispered.

Miku shook her head, a smile tugging at the edges of her lips. ''But...I just found it weird, that you took an interest in me, of all people,'' she mumbled shyly. ''I'm not a very people person. And...I don't like to get close to people,'' she confessed. Kaito blinked.

''Why not? You don't seem to enjoy being a loner, either,'' the blue-haired boy pointed out. Miku swallowed, wondering if she ought to tell them the truth. She finally decided to. If they were to be her friends, they should be warned beforehand. Before anything happened.

''Anyone I've ever befriended...anyone I've become close to...has either mysteriously disappeared,'' she glanced down, unable to meet their gazes, ''or has been found dead.''


	5. Chapter 5

''Really?'' Rin asked, her voice filled with curiosity. Miku nodded, nibbling nervously on her lower lip, and Rin cocked her head. ''How strange. Every single one of your friends?''

''Anyone who ever became close to me, yes,'' Miku exhaled. ''That's why I don't have any friends...I don't want more people to die. And some...some are frightened of me,'' she stared at the ground. ''People say I'm cursed.''

Kaito and Rin exchanged a look. ''How do they usually die? Your friends, I mean,'' he saw her hesitate. ''You don't have to tell me if you don't want to,'' he added in a soft voice.

''No, I don't mind,'' she shook her head, trying to block out the vivid images from her mind. ''I don't know. Usually, they fall ill with some terminal disease. Or they get into an accident. Some of them just...disappear.''

''Don't the police ever suspect you?'' Rin piped up, her blue eyes wide as she stared at Miku. Miku resisted the urge to cringe under her penetrating gaze - she felt as though the petite blonde could see deep into her very soul.

''They did,'' she admitted haltingly. ''But they never had any evidence to prove that I had anything to do with the deaths. Every time someone died, the first suspect was me,'' she heard her own voice tremble. ''But I swear, I've never done anything!''

''We believe you,'' Kaito murmured soothingly, placing a hand on her arm. She stilled. His touch was calming, warm, and she felt...relaxed. Less tensed. ''Don't worry about that. Rin and I won't die so easily,'' he added jokingly.

''But maybe you shouldn't be my friends,'' she mumbled, unsure. She wanted friends - God, she _needed _friends, people for support, people to rely on. Yet she didn't want to cause any more deaths.

_Miku Hatsune has a curse hanging over her head. Don't go anywhere near her - you'll end up getting yourself killed. _The warning that all the students in her old school whispered amongst themselves floated through her mind, and she shuddered. _Maybe they're right._

''I'd like to see some silly old curse knock me down!'' Rin's eyes flickered with some kind of light, but before Miku could focus on that light it disappeared, returning to cerulean blue. She smiled. ''I'm not going to leave you, no matter what so-called curse you have, so don't worry! Let us be your friends, okay?''

Slowly, Miku nodded, a smile crossing her lips. ''It's nice, to finally have someone to talk to,'' she admitted softly. ''It gets lonely at times.''

''We know how you feel,'' Kaito's blue eyes seemed hooded, and he and Rin exchanged yet another look. But Miku didn't want to probe, so she didn't ask the navy-haired boy what he had meant, by his words.

''Let's finish off the rest of the food. No more serious, gloomy business like this,'' Rin waved her hand at the food on the tablecloth impatiently. ''Wastage is bad for the environment, you know!''

Kaito and Miku laughed softly at the blonde girl's words, then ducked their heads and began to eat the rest of the food.

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''Len, you really have got yourself into some trouble this time, haven't you?'' the voice pierced through Len's thoughts, and irritated, Len let his eyelids crack open a little.

''Yuma,'' he acknowledged expressionlessly. ''What are you doing here? I thought you would be with the rest. Eating.''

''My, my, you seem to be in a terrible mood, Len,'' Yuma sat next to him, his pale green eyes, the colour of a spring meadow, staring into Len's cerulean blue ones. ''Let me guess. _She _came back, didn't she?'' he smirked.

''Don't play games with me, Yuma,'' Len said, in that same dead voice. ''We both know that you knew, the moment she stepped into this school...and know what? I don't care.''

Surprise flickered in those green eyes. Reaching up, Yuma flicked his vivid pink hair out of his eyes. ''Really? I think otherwise. This isn't the first time you've said such a thing...'' his eyes hardened, becoming like hard crystals. ''And you reacted, each time I made a move.''

''When are you going to stop doing this?'' Len whispered, his voice so low he himself could barely hear it. Yuma smirked once more.

''I'm never going to stop, Len,'' he rose from the ground, towering over Len. He tilted his face up to stare at the cloudless blue sky, looking as though he was deep in thought. ''I want you to know exactly how I felt, that time,'' his voice turned as dead as Len's was. ''Over and over again, we play this game. And I won't lose.''

''There's no point to continuing this little dance,'' Len closed his eyes, exhaling. ''I'm not letting myself get involved, this time. You think you're the only one who suffered, Yuma? I've been suffering too - and for longer than you have. Don't ever forget that.''

''How can I?'' Yuma sounded scornful. ''We all know how _you _suffered - that's why no one ever gives a damn about how I feel,'' he hissed. ''Comrades, rivals, friends, enemies - we're one and the same thing, aren't we?''

''We were. We still are, sometimes. Until you decide to have that favourite dance we share.'' Len yawned, suddenly tired. ''Then we become bitter enemies. Isn't that what you want, Yuma? You've always wanted that.''

''It's not what I want. There's no other choice, Len,'' Yuma's voice was bitter. ''If I don't do this, I can feel myself dying inside. And you don't even care, do you? All you care about is _her. _You don't care about how I feel.''

''I don't care about her,'' Len's eyes snapped open so that he could glare at the pink-haired boy. ''I couldn't care any less than I currently do. What makes you think otherwise?''

Yuma met his stare with a penetrating one of his own. ''Don't lie, Len, when we all know the truth. You'll just end up embarrassing yourself. And that can't happen, right?''

''I've already apologised. And there's nothing more I can do. I can't turn back time -''

''I'm not asking you to do that!'' Yuma shouted at Len. ''Just do what you always do, okay? Let me have my fun. I want to watch you suffer for what you did. I want to take back what you had taken from me, and I won't change my mind.''

''I know you won't,'' Len muttered. ''Fine. Go play your games. Try to twist my mind, try to make me suffer. I didn't do anything you wouldn't have done, and you'll eventually realise that.''

Yuma's eyes narrowed. ''I would have placed friendship above all else, Len,'' he said softly. ''I'm not as selfish as you are. Or at least, back then I wasn't.''

''Really? We should have swapped positions, and then you can see how I felt,'' Len mumbled. ''You think you're the only one who feels? You had control, Yuma - control that I lost.''

''Nothing you say can change the past,'' Yuma's dead eyes stared blankly at him. ''Just remember, until the curse comes to pass, I'm not going to relent. We're enemies until the next cycle, then.'' His smirk returned. ''See you later, Len. I hope you hate me for it.''

Yuma turned and strolled away, and Len muttered a curse. So Yuma wanted to play?

Well, Yuma wouldn't have an opponent in Len, not this time. Len tried to ignore the gnaw of want in his stomach, demanding that he stop Yuma from making any moves.

_I've already told him, I've already convinced myself - I'm not interested. I'm going to distance myself so that I won't suffer because of her. Or because of Yuma._

_Even though I know I'll regret it, I'll rather regret than be hurt by all this once more._


	6. Chapter 6

Miku jerked up as a piece of paper fell, from seemingly nowhere, onto her table. Warily, she picked up the folded note, then glanced around. The teacher wasn't looking at the class, droning on and on about some piece of ancient history. It wasn't like what happened a few centuries ago was going to affect her in any way.

What was worse was that this was religious history. This school apparently had religious studies, and since it was a Christian school, they learnt about the history of Christianity and how certain things came to be.

Miku was not a Christian. She was a free-thinker, and she didn't intend to convert any time soon. It wasn't that she disrespected Christianity or anything, or that she didn't believe in demons or angels - she thought there was a possibility that such beings existed.

She just didn't want to convert, to have a religion. It was better to be a free-thinker, in her opinion - then she could think about any religion she wanted. Most of the students here were Christians though, she gathered. Except for her. So she just tagged along.

No one was paying attention to the teacher, nor did he care whether or not the class was listening to him. Miku unfolded the note - there was something written on it, in unfamiliar, elegant cursive. She blinked at the message.

_Are you coming over tonight? _She looked up, immediately looking for Kaito, who was sitting at the back of the class. He grinned lazily at her, then with an almost imperceptible movement of his head, he gestured to the note.

She hesitated, biting her lower lip, then nodded. Kaito's smile widened, and he nodded back, a satisfied look entering his dark blue eyes.

''Hatsune?'' the teacher suddenly called, and Miku froze, her head immediately snapping back to face the front. Their teacher had apparently chosen _just _that moment to finally look back up at the class. ''Tell me, why did Adam and Eve choose to cover their nakedness with leaves, when they were exiled from Eden, the land of Paradise?''

''Um...'' Miku hesitated. She wasn't really sure - she regretted not paying attention now. ''Because...they were ashamed?''

''And why were they ashamed?'' their teacher pressed on, and Miku stared desperately at her table, hoping for some divine assistance.

''Because they had betrayed God's trust. He told them not to eat the fruit of the tree, but Eve did so anyway, and they were guilty for breaking the promise they made to God. They covered themselves in leaves in an attempt to hide themselves from the eyes of God,'' a quiet voice answered, somewhere behind her.

Miku turned around to look, and her eyes widened. Len Kagamine was staring intently at the teacher, his silky blonde hair twisted into a ponytail. He was waiting for the teacher's response, and Miku wondered why he had answered the question for her.

''Correct, Len,'' the teacher nodded in approval. ''Or at least, that's what some people assume...others think that it was because after they ate the apple, they were no longer innocent children. They opened their eyes to the world, and realised that their unclothed state was a shameful one. However, the essential reason is shame...they were ashamed that...'' the teacher continued his monotonous droning.

Miku turned back to glance at Len once more. The blonde was staring back at her, his glacial blue eyes unreadable, and she swallowed, head snapping back to face the front. Why had he helped her? Or maybe she was reading too much into things. Maybe he was just tired of waiting for her to answer, so he had jumped in and answered on her behalf.

That seemed more likely, given how irritable he seemed to be. Though Rin kept trying to tell Miku that her twin brother wasn't as bad-tempered as he seemed, Miku remained unconvinced. He was just so...mysterious. And he was frustrating, for that very same sense of mystery. But no, she wasn't going to care about him or his attitude.

Len would probably be going to Kaito's party tonight, since they were all friends...she cringed at the thought. She didn't want to face the brooding, blonde boy any more than she absolutely had to. He unnerved her. And not to mention, his attitude pissed her off.

The boy sitting next to her yawned, then turned to look at her. She blinked back at him, and he grinned, seeming glad to have something other than the teacher to pay attention to.

''Hey,'' he whispered under his breath, his pale green eyes, the colour of a spring meadow, darting over to the teacher to make sure he wouldn't be caught talking, ''you're going to Kaito's back-to-school party tonight, right?''

She nodded uncertainly at the boy, and his smile widened. ''Cool. My name's Yuma. You're Miku Hatsune, aren't you?''

Yuma...that name sounded familiar, for some reason. ''How did you know that?'' she asked back, her voice in a low whisper. He cocked an eyebrow at her, his green eyes amused.

''Everyone knows about the new kid. You know how rarely this place gets some new blood?'' he winked. ''It's good, to see a new face around here. Provides some entertainment.''

Miku's cheeks flushed. ''What entertainment?'' she whispered crossly at him. ''Are you waiting for me to embarrass myself or something?'' she huffed, turning away from the grinning boy.

Normally, she wouldn't be so rude to someone she had just met, but there was just something..._lulling _about this boy. She felt like he was someone she would get to know, very well. He was friendly, and he had a mischievous air about him - nothing like Len Kagamine.

''Of course not,'' he pouted childishly. ''I didn't mean to offend you, Miku,'' he whispered dramatically. ''Pray, don't take my words to heart,'' he continued in a pompous tone.

Miku giggled softly. ''Fine,'' she glanced shyly up at the pink-haired boy, who stuck his tongue out at her. ''Will I see you at Kaito's room tonight?'' she asked him hesitantly.

''I wouldn't miss Kaito's parties, not for anything,'' Yuma licked his lips with relish. ''I'm looking forward to tonight,'' his gaze settled on her, and he smiled warmly.

She felt her cheeks warm, and quickly she looked away, trying to focus on the teacher as he taught more about Adam and Eve.

Miku heard Yuma chuckle, and she firmly ignored him, thinking to herself. Yuma...Yuma...where had she heard that name before...? Suddenly, she recalled, jolting up in her seat. Yuma. He was one of Rin's group of friends, one of those unnaturally beautiful people. The one Rin didn't like.

Rin and all her friends were all extremely good-looking, and Miku wasn't surprised that Yuma was amongst them. He was really handsome, after all - but though she hated to admit it, the one she thought the most handsome amongst that group was the jerk, Len Kagamine.

Yuma was so much nicer than Len, though...he had been nice to her. He had teased and joked with her, even though they had only met for about five minutes, and she already felt at ease around him. She smiled a little.

Suddenly, she thought she could feel eyes on her back, searing her shirt. That gaze was so incredibly intense, and straightening in her chair she turned a little, trying to find out who was staring at her so intently.

The only one who was looking in her direction was Kaito, and when he saw her look at him he gave a friendly wave, smiling at her. No, she didn't think it was Kaito - and still, the stare bore into her back, making her feel vulnerable. Like a little mouse, alone in the wild.

A flash of blonde hair caught the corner of her eyes, and she glanced in the direction of Len Kagamine. He wasn't looking at her, his gaze fixed upon the window, but then his eyes flicked to her side of the classroom to meet her gaze, momentarily. A frown flickered across his perfect face, then he looked away again.

Miku hastily turned back to the front, her heart thudding. The dislike in his eyes had been so intense, she felt like she couldn't breathe. And even after all that, she still didn't know what she had ever done to offend him.

Just because he was handsome didn't give him the right to act like a jerk. She gritted her teeth, trying hard to ignore him. The eyes she could feel on her returned, and she blinked as she realised that the piercing gaze had disappeared when she turned to look at Len.

Had Len been the one staring at her, then? She considered, then shook her head - he obviously couldn't stand the sight of her. She sighed, fidgeting under the heavy stare, then pushed the sense of being watched to the back of her mind. It wasn't important.

_Still, who's the person looking at me, then?_


	7. Chapter 7

Miku knocked shyly on the door, waiting with her hands clasped behind her back. After a pause, the door was thrown open, and there stood Kaito, colourful streamers in his navy-coloured hair as he held the door open, panting. There was a can of beer in his other hand. Seeing her, he grinned. ''Miku! Come on in.''

He stood aside, and she walked past him into the room, gaping. The room was huge, as was expected - all of the rooms in this academy were big. But Kaito's room seemed bigger than normal - bigger than hers, even. And it was packed with what seemed to be most of the student population.

How did everyone all cram in here, she had no idea. There were tables set out all over the place, and they were overflowing with foods and drinks. The music was loud and infectious, a heavy rhythm which made people want to move. To dance. There wasn't a single spot on the floor where there wasn't a person dancing, either by themselves or with friends.

''I know, it's a little overwhelming at first!'' Kaito yelled over the blaring beat, smiling. ''But you get used to the loudness after a while. Go mix around - Rin's over there,'' he pointed, and Miku followed the direction of his finger. True enough, the petite blonde was standing at one of the food tables, staring hungrily at some pretty chocolates arranged on a plate.

Miku waved at the navy haired boy, who turned back to continue talking to Gakupo. She threaded through the thick throng, trying to make her way over to Rin, and by the time she reached the girl she was out of breath. Weaving her way through the hot, gyrating bodies was like an intensive workout, one she preferred not to repeat. It was like swimming in the opposite direction of a strong sea current.

''Miku!'' Rin turned and smiled happily, holding up the plate of chocolates. ''Glad you could come! Want one?'' she offered, and politely Miku declined. Rin shrugged, taking one and popping it into her mouth. ''You have no idea what you're missing out on,'' she said thickly, through the mouthful of chocolate. ''It has orange liquor in it. Do you know how delicious that makes it?''

Miku smiled shyly. Rin really enjoyed oranges, from what Miku could tell. ''There really are a lot of people here,'' she started hesitantly. ''Does Kaito know everyone in school?''

''Yeah, pretty much,'' Rin shrugged, chewing away on another sticky chocolate. ''It's Kaito. He's good at making people feel at ease...'' Rin's eyes darkened. ''Which is really dangerous for them at times,'' she muttered.

Miku didn't really catch what she said. ''Pardon?'' she mumbled. Rin glanced up at her, then smiled a sudden, dazzling smile.

''Nothing!'' she chirped. ''Come on, let's go talk to people!'' she set down the plate of chocolates, reaching out to tug on Miku's arm. Miku drew back instinctively, shrinking away. Panic filled her as she eyed all the unfamiliar strangers in the room - her? Talk to them?

She recognised a few, who had been in her classes today. They had said hi to her, and she had smiled in response to them, but she hadn't actually started _talking _to people, not yet. And she wasn't sure if she wanted to. Not at all. It just wasn't in her nature to talk to strangers.

She didn't want more people to die because of her. All of her friends had either died or disappeared, one by one, and they all left her behind. They all left her alone. She _knew _that she was the one who caused it all - and she didn't want to do that to yet another innocent stranger. Most of all, she didn't want to have the feeling of being abandoned again.

Rin glanced back at her, her cerulean blue eyes unreadable. ''Miku...'' she whispered. Miku didn't know how she managed to hear Rin's soft voice through the noise of the crowd - but she did. It was almost as though Rin was speaking through her mind. ''You need to open up. Don't seclude yourself just because people said that you were cursed, in the past. It's a different place, and a new start. Isn't that so?''

Miku looked down at Rin's outstretched hand, expectant-looking. She swallowed, staring at Rin's face, at her look of encouragement. Slowly, she stretched out her hand, and Rin took it in her own, tugging her into the crowd.

As she was pulled into the dancing throng, Miku kept on the lookout for people she could recognise. When her own emerald eyes met a pair of familiar, spring-green ones, she gasped, tugging her hand out of Rin's. Rin looked back, startled, then followed Miku's gaze. Her eyes narrowed back at the boy.

''You know Yuma, Miku?'' Rin asked curiously. Miku nodded, staring back at the pink-haired boy, who shot her a wink. Rin watched as Miku's pale cheeks turned a faint shade of rose.

_Oh no. I can't just stand by and do nothing...where's that idiot? Is he going to leave this alone, too? If he is, he's really hopeless._

''How did you know him?'' Rin piped up, hoping to distract the teal-haired human, even if it was only momentarily. Miku blinked, turning to look at Rin. Her eyes were dreamy.

''During religious classes,'' she mumbled. ''He was sitting next to me, and he introduced himself...he asked if I was coming to Kaito's party tonight. And then I remembered, he's one of your group, isn't he?''

''He is,'' Rin hesitated. ''But I don't trust him, Miku. Not really. You might want to be wary of Yuma - he always has ulterior motives for everything. He uses people, you know.''

''Then why is he still your friend?'' Curiosity filled the little mortals' eyes, and Rin gritted her teeth in frustration. Where on earth was her idiot of an brother hiding now?

''He's not really a friend of mine,'' she said simply. ''And we don't bother acting otherwise. He's more of Len's friend,'' she added.

''Len,'' Miku's eyes flicked down to the floor. ''Is he here?'' she asked cautiously. Surprised, Rin stared at Miku - she was biting on her lower lip. Nervous then, she supposed.

''Yes, but I don't know where he's hiding at...'' she sighed. ''Don't worry, Miku. Even if you two run into each other, he's not going to say anything.'' Rin's eyes flicked to Yuma, and she sighed again. ''I need to find Len. You'll be fine by yourself, right?''

Indecision battled in Miku's emerald eyes. Rin knew what she was thinking - she didn't want to be left alone, nor did she want to face Len. ''You can talk to Yuma. I'm sure he'll welcome the chance to have a chat with you,'' she put forward the idea grudgingly.

Miku brightened. ''I suppose...see you later then, Rin,'' she chirped, walking in the direction of the pink-haired Yuma. Yuma shot her a friendly grin, then his eyes snapped over to Rin. They were filled with intent, and Rin shuddered - she had to find her brother. Fast.

''You look gorgeous,'' Yuma complimented her as Miku reached him. Miku blushed and fidgeted with her outfit - a simple white blouse with short sleeves which gathered at her upper arms, and a pair of short black shorts, made out of acid-treated denim. She had let down her long teal hair, and it was held in place with a black and white cap which shielded her eyes.

''Thank you,'' she mumbled, though she knew he was just saying that to be nice. He continued smiling as she stared at him - he looked good. Wearing a grey hoodie and dark blue jeans, he was good-looking in a casual way which still managed to make her breath catch.

_He's really beautiful...angelically beautiful, I could say. Just like Len._

''Having fun?'' he asked, reaching over to a nearby table and grabbing a sushi roll. He popped the roll into his mouth as he waited for her reply, and she hesitated.

Was she having fun? She wasn't sure. Parties and crowds had never really been her thing, but she couldn't say that she wasn't having fun either. Slowly, she nodded, glancing up at him from beneath her long eyelashes.

''Great,'' his grin widened. ''Dance with me?'' he offered, extending a hand. His grin was roguish, and his pale green eyes sparkled with mischief. ''Unless you don't want to, of course...''

She shook her head quickly, taking his offered hand, and he pulled her into the throng, laughing as he did so. Uncertainly, she moved along with the commanding beat of the music, following what Yuma did as he placed his hands on her shoulders, guiding her along.

Even in the rampant crowd, he moved with a sheer grace that took her aback. There was something about his movements which reminded her of flowing water - he was so fluid, like every movement was a work of art.

He leant close, his cool breath washing against her face. ''Don't be scared to just let loose,'' he murmured, his lips so close to her forehead, if she moved just a tiny bit forward his lips would brush her skin. ''Tonight is a night not for hiding, but a night to have fun. Wouldn't you agree with me, Miku?'' he asked.

''I guess,'' she smiled a little, looking up to meet his piercing gaze. He tugged her a little closer as someone bumped into her from behind, and her breath froze. They continued staring at each other, tension between them, then finally Yuma broke into a smile.

''So let's dance the night away and forget all the bad things which ever happened to us,'' he crooned softly, and she nodded, closing her eyes. That tension earlier, that tension between them just now...had she imagined it?

Len gritted his teeth, looking away from the teal-haired girl. It wasn't like she meant anything to him - Yuma was free to do whatever he liked. Len didn't care. At all.

''Your face is so black, you'd scare a whole horde of demons away,'' his sister commented as she stumbled across him, hiding in a corner of Kaito's room. Len shot her a glare.

''And yet, it wouldn't be able to scare you away, it seems,'' he muttered, disgruntled. Rin laughed, but the happiness lasted only a short while before fading away, returning to moodiness. She stared at him.

He looked away from her, training his eyes on the ceiling. Rin sighed, grabbing his shoulders. Then she shook him hard, making his arms fly all over the place. ''You're such an idiot!''

''What?'' he snapped, jerking her hands away. ''I told Yuma that he was free to do whatever he liked - I don't care about her. That girl means nothing to me whatsoever.''

''Her name is Miku. You know that,'' Rin watched him carefully, her blue eyes neutral. Len stiffened at the name, watching said girl laugh with Yuma, in the middle of the throng.

''Yuma can do what he pleases with her, then. I'm not going to get affected this time. So if Yuma wants to go around tearing himself up, he's welcome to it. I won't care or mind.''

''Listen to yourself!'' Rin hissed at him. ''Listen to how you sound like, Len! And you're trying to convince me that you don't care about it? I'm your sister - I know exactly how you feel.''

''I've changed,'' he said simply. ''She's nothing but a mortal to me now. And I don't have the time to interfere in the affairs of mortals,'' he concluded emptily. His sister glared at him.

''You are a fool,'' she said in the same empty tone he had used. ''Just because you don't want to risk the same cycle again? Who was the one who started this rift between us all, Len?''

He glanced away, unable to meet his sister's accusing stare. ''I did.''

''And you're just going to let the cause of that rift slip through your fingers? Things were once so different...I supported you, brother, but if things are going to turn out like this maybe I shouldn't have. Maybe I should have said otherwise,'' her blue eyes regarded him.

Len sighed. Staring at Yuma and the teal-haired mortal, he placed his hand against his forehead, looking up at the ceiling. ''What he has now is what I have lost,'' he said softly. ''I...maybe I'm just tired of watching the meaning of my existence being snatched away from me, every single time. Did you ever consider that?''

''I know it hurts,'' Rin's fingers rested briefly on his shoulder. ''But you have to face up to it. That was your punishment - if you try to evade it, wouldn't it be worse?'' Rin leant forward to hiss in his ear. ''Doesn't this hurt more?''

''It doesn't,'' he protested, and the feeble lie felt so...wrong on his tongue. Rin cocked an eyebrow at him, but didn't comment on the blatant lie. She just shook her head and walked away.

Len knew what she said was right. That there was no point in trying to escape what he had been cursed with. That was his punishment, for what he had done - for what had been deemed as wrong. And no matter how much he tried to run, it would never leave him alone.

_But I can try, can't I? Maybe, for once, I'll actually remain unaffected. Maybe for once, I can finally break free of this cursed cycle._


	8. Chapter 8

''That was fun,'' Miku breathed as she slipped out of Kaito's room, closely followed by Yuma. He had insisted on accompanying her outside when she had wanted to get a breath of fresh air, and she hadn't been able to persuade him otherwise. She couldn't deny feeling a shiver of pleasure, though - that he had insisted on following her outside.

''I think it was fun too,'' Yuma agreed, his intense eyes, the colour of a meadow in spring, meeting hers. ''Because I had the chance to dance with you. And that made everything about this party even more enjoyable.''

Miku felt herself blush. Was he flirting with her? She had never had a boyfriend before - everyone had been too frightened of her curse to risk getting close to her...her eyes widened. Her curse. Yuma didn't know about that.

''I don't think we should get too close,'' she whispered, taking a step away from him. His green eyes clouded over with confusion, and he cocked his head adorably, making her heart flutter in her chest.

''Why not?'' he asked, sounding a little lost. He took a step closer to her, and she backed away again. She hit the wall, and gasping she glanced back - she couldn't move behind any further.

''Anyone who gets close to me dies or disappears, without fail,'' she answered quietly, averting her gaze. ''People say that I'm cursed...and I believe them. Every single person I've ever been close to has died. And I don't want you to die, Yuma.''

Unexpectedly, he took another step closer, pinning her against the wall. She blinked, her breath frozen as his eyes narrowed down at her, long eyelashes brushing against his cheeks. ''I don't care,'' he murmured, his fingers stroking her face. ''This curse doesn't matter to me, Miku. I want to know you better - and I won't die as easily as you think,'' a smile curved his full lips. She shook her head.

''That's what everyone says. And they all die, in the end,'' she said bluntly. ''The only thing they had ever done wrong was to know me. I don't want you to die for nothing, Yuma.''

''I won't die as easily as you think, Miku,'' he repeated stubbornly. Before she could protest, he leant down, his mouth capturing hers, and she found that she could protest no more.

The feel of his lips against hers...it was soft, and his kiss was sweet. She found herself kissing him back, though a little sense in the back of her head knew that it was wrong - she shouldn't be kissing him. She didn't want him to die...she shouldn't be encouraging him.

But she wanted more, and she pushed the small voice away, their hot mouths seeking each other's out eagerly, in want. The chaste kiss was deepening, becoming less than innocent, and his fingers gripped her shoulders hard, bringing her closer against his body -

''If you two want to suck face, maybe you should do so in a more private place,'' a new voice, slightly familiar sounding, pierced through their passionate daze. Miku and Yuma instantly broke apart, breathing heavily, and they both turned to stare at a dispassionate Len Kagamine. He looked bored, standing with his arms folded across his chest as he stared at them.

Yuma's lips tilted up into a smirk. ''Don't be so boring, Lenny boy,'' he drawled. ''You sound like a nagging old grandfather or something.''

Miku didn't speak, thinking. _Yuma? He's not my friend, and we don't bother acting otherwise...he's more of Len's friend. _Rin's words floated through her mind, and she looked between Yuma and Len curiously. The two boys didn't seem to be particularly friendly.

''Didn't you say that you weren't going to do anything?'' Yuma continued, and Miku noticed Len's blue eyes darken. ''So what are you doing here, messing around in my affairs?''

''It's not that I want to,'' Len said sharply. ''Just don't make yourself seem so cheap, Yuma. It's no good for you to be caught making out with someone in the corridors...you know how perverted the students here are.'' Len didn't even glance at Miku before he turned around, stalking away. It was like he was determined to ignore her very existence.

Yuma huffed and rolled his eyes as Len turned the corner, his back disappearing from sight. ''Ignore Len,'' he whispered, gaze meeting hers. ''He's just grumpy because he found out his supposed girlfriend had been cheating on him. It's all very sad, really.''

Miku's eyes widened. ''Really?'' she asked in a small voice. No wonder he had seemed so moody, when he found her and Yuma together...but finding out his girlfriend was cheating on him still wasn't an excuse to treat her like she was an eyesore, for no reason.

''Sort of,'' Yuma shrugged, sighing. ''Poor Len is all torn up about that, really. It's sad. I don't know why anyone would want to cheat on Lenny boy there now, do you?'' his meadow green eyes sparked with intent.

She was startled by the question, and she swallowed, shrugging like he had. ''I don't know either. He seems...okay, I guess?'' Well, Len was nice to everyone except her, for some reason.

Yuma smirked. ''Okay,'' he echoed. ''Do you honestly think that, Miku?'' he asked softly, and she didn't speak - she had no idea how to respond to him. Yuma didn't press for an answer though, instead backing away from her. He glanced down at the floor.

''You don't want to go back in, right?'' he questioned, and slowly Miku shook her head. He smiled. ''Then I'll walk you back to your room,'' he mumbled, reaching out to take her hand in his. She allowed him, and they both walked away, in the direction of the girls' dorms.

Miku wondered if this meant that Yuma was her boyfriend now. Or something like that. She couldn't deny that she liked him - still, something in her kept warning her to stay away, and she didn't know why...she didn't want him to die because of her, but she couldn't do anything if he refused to stay away.

Len sighed as he walked out of the boys' dormitories, into the courtyard. It was nearing midnight, and the moon was full, bathing the courtyard below in a bright radiance which sparkled, turning everything silver.

Reaching the large oak tree in the middle of the courtyard, he eyed the lowest tree branch with a discerning eye. Leaping up, he wrapped his fingers around the thick branch, swinging himself upwards to settle comfortably on the sturdy, gnarled wooden limb.

He liked to do his thinking in trees. Trees were sturdy and unmoving. They were firm and rooted, sure of what they wanted, which was water and minerals from the ground, and sunlight to make food. Not like him. He was unsure, unstable - he didn't know what he wanted to do, or wanted to have.

Everything confused him, especially his feelings right now. They were the most confusing of them all. He had vowed that he wouldn't feel anything - and he normally wouldn't go against his own vows. However, though he had tried to suppress the feelings which had surfaced, he couldn't help feeling...like he had, before.

He gritted his teeth. What he had told Yuma would still stand, and that wasn't going to change. In fact, this was all the better - this time, Yuma would be the one who got torn apart, not Len. And that was better for Len, both mentally and physically.

It made sense logically, but his instincts demanded otherwise. His instincts demanded that he do something about Yuma, and those cries were difficult to ignore.

However hard, though, he had to ignore the cries of his soul. There wasn't any other choice available for him, not even if he desired so badly for another option.

The only alternative left to him...was to continue the cycle - but that was something he couldn't bring himself to do.


	9. Chapter 9

''Len, you're a total, complete, utter moron,'' his sister dead-panned, her face emotionless. Len resisted the urge to scowl at her, instead sticking his lower lip out childishly and turning away. Behaving like a child usually caused his sister to sigh and walk away from him - and Len desperately wanted to be alone.

No such luck, though. His sister persisted, shaking his shoulders. ''You're going to feel guilty about this forever. Or at least, until her fate comes to pass and the whole cycle repeats itself. Do you really want to give Miku up to Yuma? You know what will happen, right?''

''No. I have no idea what will happen,'' he said in the same dead tone as usual. Though he did know, actually. He knew perfectly well what would happen - it had happened before, and no doubt it would happen again.

''Well, let me enlighten you then, brother,'' Rin removed her hands from his shoulders, rolling her eyes at his blatant lie. ''You'll get more and more depressed, until you try and kill yourself and realise we can't do that - since we can't die just because we jumped off a damn building.''

Len scowled this time. ''I hate that word.''

''What word?'' Rin looked exasperated - it was as though Len had completely missed the main point of the whole lecture. She had probably just wasted a whole lot of breath.

''Damn. I just...hate that word.'' Len's cerulean eyes, just like hers, darkened momentarily before he walked away. Rin trailed after him stubbornly, and he tried his best to ignore his ever-persistent blonde sister.

Why couldn't everyone just leave him alone? He wasn't insane. He knew perfectly well what he was doing. Even if everyone else thought that he was out of his mind for deviating from his usual pattern. Was it that surprising, that he would try and break free of his fate?

''Because you're not going to succeed,'' his sister said from behind him. Len gritted his teeth, stopping in his tracks and whirling around to face Rin. She stared coolly back at him.

''First of all, stop messing around in my mind,'' he hissed. ''And secondly, I think one lifetime of less pain is better than an eternity of unending agony. Do you even have any idea how I feel? Sure, think that I'm selfish. That I'm stupid. Maybe I am - but it's my choice, and I'd appreciate if none of you interfere.''

''Oh, so you allow Yuma to interfere in your little affairs, then?'' Rin challenged, folding her arms across her chest. She glared at him, and he glared right back at her, wishing that she hadn't stumbled across him sitting in the tree.

He had been moping quietly in the tree, by himself, when he had heard his sister's unique high-pitched, yet alto tone whipping at him, through the leaves. ''How long are you going to sulk up in that tree for, you idiot?''

Len had instantly fallen out of the tree due to surprise, and had landed nimbly on his two feet, glaring at his blonde sister. ''What do you want from me this time, Rin?'' he had sighed wearily. His sister then huffed at him impatiently.

''Yuma's claiming her as his and you're not going to do anything about it? God, my brother is a total idiot,'' she had muttered under her breath, all the while casting him a baleful glare.

Len had heard, though, and without another word he had walked away from her. Rin had followed him, even though he knew she knew he wanted to be left alone - and even now, she was still following him, the annoying brat.

Len now cast her a droll look. ''I'm not allowing him to interfere in my affairs. It's his own right, and he can do whatever he likes. The two of us are the only ones trapped in this curse,'' he stared pointedly at Rin. ''The rest of you are just tagging along because you're bored.''

''I'm not bored,'' she said defensively. ''And anyway, not all of us are just here to watch the drama. Some of us actually suffer too, you know,'' she sighed, dropping the prickliness. In a softer tone, she continued, ''You're really selfish, Len. You and Yuma both. You both think that you're the only ones in pain - how about us, who followed you here? And what about Miku? Don't you think that she's hurting, too?''

''She doesn't know that she's hurting. She doesn't know that she's supposed to feel as though she hurts...she doesn't know anything!'' Len snapped, turning away from Rin's blue-eyed gaze. Somehow, he couldn't meet her eyes, couldn't face the accusation which he knew would be within them. Stark and pointed.

''Memories are never lost, only buried,'' Rin whispered. ''Buried so deep that no one can uncover them, not without some kind of price to pay. And you know that. Isn't that price...the price you have to pay to unlock those memories? To make everything return?''

''And you know that there's a price to pay,'' he murmured. ''So why do you want me to face her? I don't want to pay that price again. The moment she recalls who I am...what I am, shortly after the same thing will happen. That's the price, Rin. Her. I can't...stand it.''

''And you think that her hanging out with Yuma won't trigger the same response?'' Rin snorted. ''You and Yuma are both trapped in the same cycle. It doesn't matter who it is - so long as it's either one of you, your auras slowly start to uncover her memories. And either way, the price will be paid. Is that what you want?''

''But this time, Yuma will suffer the consequences, not me,'' Len pointed out. ''Either way, we can't resist her...but if I can, this one time, then I won't be the one hurting.''

''As if you're not already hurting now,'' Rin pointed out sarcastically, with a roll of her eyes. ''Try to keep everything hidden from the rest of us, but you can't lie to your very own sister, Len. I see the hurt you try to mask, in your eyes.''

''Leave me alone,'' Len closed his eyes, tilting his head back. Rin sighed audibly, then patted him on the shoulder, walking away.

His blue eyes flicked open as, true to his sister's words, the pain returned, as intense as ever. No one else would ever understand - the burden of the curse he carried, and how he couldn't help but put the curse in effect. The only way he could halt it was by staying away from Miku...something that became harder and harder to do, as the days passed by.

_I wonder if she yearns for something that she can't put a name to...I wonder if Yuma has started unveiling any of her lost memories?_

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Bright blonde hair. Cerulean blue eyes. A gentle smile, as wide open arms beckoned her closer, her name sweet as honey on his soft, full lips. She was irresistibly drawn to him, this boy who she could almost remember...who was he?

''Miku,'' he breathed. ''Your name changes, throughout the centuries - every incarnation has a new name. Michaela. Mikia. Mikulia. Maria. Michelle. But...Miku,'' he approached her, brushing the back of his hand against her cheek. She shivered. ''I think that name suits you best...it's sweet. Cute. Lovely. Just like you.''

''Who are you?'' she asked softly. It was Len Kagamine, she realised dimly - but she didn't recognise him, at the same time. Why was he being so different? Was she dreaming?

Strange, that she recognised all the other names he had called her by. Michaela, especially. Those names...though she had never heard them before, they were familiar, and something in her responded to all those names. Almost as though...they were her names.

His lips curved up, into a bitter smile. ''You never remember who I am,'' he said, almost sadly. ''And that's good, I suppose...if you were to find out my real identity, you would disappear from my sight. And the pain of witnessing that would cripple me.''

_I can't remember something, someone who's supposed to be precious to me -_

His lips covered hers, and she froze, stunned. Len, the angelically beautiful blonde who absolutely couldn't stand her, was kissing her. And he did so with the ferocious passion of a starving man, tearing through a banquet of the finest delicacies. Like he would die without her. Like...she was his entire world.

His arms wrapped around her waist, tugging her closer, and she felt her eyes shut as she began kissing him back, her body seemingly disconnected from her brain. Why was she kissing him? She...she knew she shouldn't be doing this...this was wrong -

But she enjoyed every single second of this. This immoral act, this act which should have been forgotten. This was wrong and sinful, and enjoyable for the very same reason - why was that so? She could almost remember why...

Len was...what was Len? Who was Len? She pulled away from him, gasping, her eyes wide. Who was he? Why couldn't she remember him, this boy who seemed so vaguely familiar...like something out of a past she didn't want to recall...he was someone she knew she ought to recognise, but who on earth was he?

''What do you want from me?'' she whispered, knowing that it was unlikely he would reply. She somehow had the sense that he was forbidden from saying anything - forbidden from telling her anything about what was happening. Forbidden from telling her his identity, what he was, who he was.

Who Len Kagamine was...it was something she would have to find out for herself.

He gazed back at her, slightly winded, his eyes filled with sadness. They were just so sad - his eyes were full of agony. He looked as though he was struggling to say something - but in the end all he did was give her a faint, tremulous smile. And then he whispered her name one last time, so softly it was almost a sob.

With that, he faded away, and he didn't come back, not even after she screamed out his name. The moment he completely disappeared, Miku shot awake, gasping, her heart racing.

Len. Why had Len appeared in her dreams, and why had he seemed so tortured? As though seeing her, saying her name was a bitter-sweet pleasure, something he craved but had to stay away from. And that conflict was torturing him. She couldn't forget the pain in his eyes.

That Len had been completely different from the Len in real life, and she exhaled, clutching her blankets closer to her. She let her eyes close as she felt unconsciousness tugging at her again. The dream was already trickling away, like cool water from cupped palms, and all she could recall from the vivid dream was the look of overwhelming pain in cerulean blue eyes.

Which was good. She wanted to forget. She didn't want to remember what Len could be like - she stiffened. Could be like? That wasn't Len at all. Len wasn't so kind. And he most definitely didn't like her enough to kiss her.

_It was all nothing but a dream...it's a dream. There's no way Len would ever treat me like that. He hates me too much._


	10. Chapter 10

''Miku?'' she turned around as Rin bobbed up next to her, a bright smile on her face. ''Where did you go last night? You didn't return to Kaito's room after you left with Yuma,'' she pouted. Miku puffed her cheeks out, wondering whether she ought to answer that question.

Rin had knocked on her room door five minutes ago, and Miku had let her in, her toothbrush still stuck in her mouth. She was oddly comfortable around her, and she didn't mind Rin being around while she got ready for school.

She was getting into her uniform so she could go to the cafeteria for breakfast. The school's uniform was simple - white, with black outlines. The girls wore a black under shirt with a pure white jacket, black lines running around the edges of the jacket to give it an edgy look. Their skirt was white as well, and they wore a simple red neck-tie around their necks.

The boys had a similar uniform. Black shirt, with pure white jacket, with those black outlines running around the edges of the jacket. They wore red ties, and had long white pants. For both the girls and the guys, the school crest was emblazoned on the left side of their jackets, which always had to be worn during school hours, while on campus. The school crest reminded her of a Christian cross - two lines, with a pair of angel wings surrounding it.

Miku smiled weakly - something unsettled her today, this morning, as she got ready for school. Something about last night had confused her...a dream she could almost remember...an immoral dream, one that she was supposed to forget. Something about that dream had surprised her - but what had it been about?

''I'm sorry,'' she mumbled, deciding to tell Rin what happened. ''I just felt tired last night, so I went back to my room to rest. Kaito throws some really good parties,'' she smiled again, this time fondly, in remembrance.

Yuma had kissed her, that much she could recall - and she had kissed him back. So...he liked her. Didn't he? She didn't know - she didn't have much experience with these kind of things, but she hoped he really did like her and wasn't just using her as some kind of toy...because she liked Yuma too. He...something about him just attracted her. His niceness? His personality? It was something she couldn't exactly place her finger on - something about him...

''Earth to Miku?'' Rin waved her hands in front of Miku's face, causing her to blink, startled. Rin grinned. ''Spacing out? What were you thinking about?'' she asked, a tinge of curiosity in her voice. Miku hesitated this time before she replied, and with good reason.

Rin...she didn't like Yuma, did she? She had made her stand about the pink haired boy clearly, painfully obvious. ''Nothing,'' Miku said casually, hoping the blonde wouldn't be able to tell that she was lying. Miku wasn't what you could call a very good liar.

Rin's blue eyes narrowed at her. ''What happened between you and Yuma last night?'' she asked quickly, bluntly, and Miku swallowed. So Rin was more perceptive than Miku had thought. The thought was...unsettling.

''Nothing,'' she repeated, glancing away from the petite blonde's penetrating blue gaze. ''Nothing happened between us. Why do you ask?'' Rin stepped closer to her, blinking innocently at Miku as she smiled sweetly - an expression that made you trust her, made you want to spill every single secret you had.

''Come on, Miku,'' she cajoled. ''Your cheeks are pink. Something must have happened between you and Yuma last night...aren't I right? I mean, why else would you blush like that, hm?'' Her tone softened. ''You can tell me, you know. We're friends, aren't we? You can trust me.''

Miku's hands went to her cheeks as she inhaled. They did feel rather warm. God, was she really blushing? ''Nothing happened!'' she avoided Rin's gaze, blushing harder than ever. ''He...he just walked me back here, to my toom, and then we said goodbye to each other. That's it.''

''Really.'' Rin sounded unconvinced. At that single word, memories of her and Yuma's kiss surfaced in her mind, and Miku felt her face flaming. Why couldn't she stop thinking about that? It was...it was irritating! She admitted that she had liked the kiss, but...she didn't want to keep thinking about it. It was distracting.

Without another word, she brushed past Rin, walking out of her room, averting her face so that no one could see how pink her cheeks were. Rin followed after her, shutting her room door, and Miku could hear her light footsteps as she trailed quietly after her.

She hoped that Rin wouldn't probe anymore - she wasn't ready for anyone to find out about her feelings for Yuma. Not yet. Ever since young, Miku had been a private person, with few friends. Even now, she still found it unnatural to suddenly open up about her private life - even to Rin. She just couldn't get used to the idea that she had friends now, in this school. She had spent too many years all by herself.

Miku walked out of the girls' dorms, blinking in the bright sunlight. Rin popped out of the door after her, but still strangely silent. It made Miku wonder what Rin was thinking about. Rin was normally bubbly and talkative - this sudden new silence unnerved her a little.

The two of them made their way to the cafeteria, where Miku grabbed a tray and stood in line, waiting for her turn. Rin didn't queue up behind her - Miku remembered Rin saying before that she didn't really like the food that the school provided. As the queue inched closer to the breakfast spread, Miku grew hungrier - she felt like she hadn't eaten for ages. And the breakfast spread looked great - ham, bacon, eggs, hash browns, cereals...

Eventually, it was her turn, and eagerly Miku grabbed some bacon and fried Twinkies. Happily, she picked up her tray and walked away, intending to find a quiet corner where she could sit by herself and eat. She didn't feel like looking for Rin and sitting with her. It wasn't that she disliked the company - but after so many years of being by herself, old habits were difficult to break.

As she walked out of the cafeteria, her eyes fixed on her Twinkies hungrily, she bumped into someone. Skittering back, an apology came out of her mouth as she stared up at who she had walked into. Long pink hair and frosty blue eyes - Luka Megurine glared down at her, expression hostile. Neru and Kaiko stood behind her, quiet and distant - as they usually were.

''Watch where you're going, brat,'' Luka seethed, and nervously Miku nodded. There was just something about this girl which scared her, though Miku didn't understand why Luka seemed to dislike her so much. Like Len. She didn't think she had ever done anything to offend either of them.

Luka's eyes darted over to her tray, then her lips twisted into a smile. ''Twinkies? Not scared of getting fat, I see,'' her smile was eerie. ''Never mind, I'll help you watch your weight,'' she sang. With a casual flip of her hand, she knocked Miku's whole tray out of her hands, all the breakfast food spilling out onto the floor, then she blew a sarcastic kiss at Miku and walked away, stride purposeful.

Miku stared after Luka, then down at the tray as Kaiko and Neru followed after the pinkette. She swallowed, slowly crouching down to pick the tray and scattered food up. Everyone in the cafeteria was watching her, but no one said anything comforting. No help was offered as she resisted the urge to break out into tears.

She wondered why her. From the very first day she had stepped into this school, Luka Megurine had made it plainly obvious that she didn't think too highly of her. But Miku hadn't expected these kind of prestigious schools to have issues, as well. She had thought that maybe, for once, she could have a peaceful school year.

There was never any help offered, ever. People usually stayed out of these kind of affairs, afraid to divert the bully's attention to them. No one ever helped the victims, instead choosing to stand at the side and watch the spectacle.

It wasn't the first time she had been bullied - at her old schools, similar things had happened before. Miku thought that she would be immune to these kind of antics by now...but evidently not. At least Luka had just knocked her food to the ground - there had been times in the past when she had food dumped in her hair, on her clothes, had her money stolen from her.

Simply because she was different. And each time such things happened, she became more and more reclusive, more and more shy. The more she was made fun of, because of the way she was always alone, the more she withdrew from everyone into her own little world.

Footsteps, and then someone crouched down next to her. She glanced up, the tears welling up in her eyes making everything blurry. All she could make out was blonde hair and blue eyes...blue eyes the colour of a summer sky. The person helped her sweep the rest of the food up, then picked up the tray. They held out a hand, standing, and hesitantly she took it, rising from the ground as they tugged her up.

''Rin?'' she asked softly, nervously. What would Rin say? How would she react to her friend taunting Miku like that? Would it change Rin's opinion of her...or would they still be friends? Would Rin decide to take Luka's side? Especially since...well, Rin had been so quiet earlier...

''No,'' the person answered, voice as soft as hers. Miku froze, slowly reaching up to rub the wetness away from her eyes. The person's features came into focus - bright blonde hair, tied up into a small ponytail. Cerulean eyes, cool and distant. Full lips, finely formed and aristocratic features. He returned her stare.

Her hand was still in his. He didn't let go, nor did she try to tug her hand away. The tray which had been knocked onto the floor was still balanced in his other hand, and she swallowed, totally unsure of what to say.

What did he want from her? Her lips parted, and then his name sounded from her, her voice sounding not entirely like her own - ''Len?''


	11. Chapter 11

_**Solitaryloner: **Before I start, let's clear a few things up. I like Twinkies, deep fried or not. It's not a matter of whether it's American or Japanese. I like them. They taste delicious. If you don't like the fact that Japanese Vocaloids are eating American food here, treat this as fusion, or don't read this at all. Simple._

_Besides, it's better than saying Miku ate stir-fried beehoon for breakfast, which is another breakfast food I enjoy. I'm Asian. Personally I still prefer fried Twinkies. And people don't usually eat beehoon for breakfast._

_Secondly, yes the uniform does look like the one in Vampire Knight. I couldn't be bothered to think of a uniform of my own. Call me unoriginal, but I'm lazy and I don't have a good head for clothes. Besides, this doesn't play a very important factor in the story, so I don't think there's any need to bother with that._

_So now that everything is cleared up, let's continue on with the story, shall we?_

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His eyes narrowed slightly at her as she spoke his name, still stunned by the fact that he was helping her. Didn't he hate her...? So why was he offering her assistance now?

''Come on,'' was all he said, grabbing her arm and dragging her out of the cafeteria. She protested, but she was ignored, and she couldn't break free of his vice-like grip. The rest of the students were watching, Rin included, but Len paid all of them no heed.

He set the tray down on a nearby table as he dragged her out. Once both of them had left the cafeteria, out in the school courtyard, his tight grip on her finally slackened. She wrenched her arm away, frowning at him.

''Thank you for helping me just now,'' she started stiffly. ''But why did you drag me out here?'' she questioned. He glanced away, and once again she saw that dislike in his blue eyes - which brought about the question. Why had he helped her, since he hated her so much?

''Are you okay?'' he asked simply. His voice was polite and cool, unlike the other few times he had ever spoken to her. She blinked, startled - his voice...now that it wasn't filled with his usual hostility, it sounded familiar. Somehow.

''I'm fine,'' she answered hesitantly. ''Luka didn't do anything to me, not really. All she did was knock my tray over.'' She wondered if she had imagined the anger which flickered through his cerulean eyes then. His pale lips set into a firm line, and he turned back to glare at her.

She swallowed at the look on his face. She definitely hadn't imagined the fury then. ''So what? You just stood there and let her get away with it?'' he questioned, almost angry. She didn't know how to respond, and he barrelled on, gesturing wildly. ''Are you an idiot? Why did you let her just walk all over you like that?''

That sparked anger in her too. Did Len think that he was the only one who was allowed to get worked up over this? Why did he even care anyway? ''I don't see how this is any of your business,'' she replied scathingly. ''You've never cared what I did. So why should you bother?''

There was a tense silence for a while, and Len stared back at her, the anger replaced by surprise...and maybe a little bit of curiosity? ''You should have reacted, at least,'' he drawled, suddenly cool and distant once more. ''I don't want any complications going on, especially not between you and Luka. There's no need for any of my friends to get into trouble.''

''If I had reacted, Luka would have hit back. And that would have spelled out even greater trouble,'' she pointed out dryly, a little bit of hostility still shimmering under the surface of her words. Len tilted his head, eyebrows arching at her. Despite the arrogant gesture, he still looked angelic. He was still irresistibly handsome, still...intriguing to her.

''Luka's a bully. And all bullies are cowards. If you had hit back, she wouldn't have done anything,'' he answered matter-of-factly. ''Anyway, you have such a vicious side to you...'' he waved his hand at her casually. ''No one would want to pick a fight with this side of you. It's rather intimidating, to be frank.''

Confusion filled her. Why was he suddenly being so nice to her? He didn't seem as...hostile as he usually did. For once, he didn't act as though he hated her, as though the mere sight of her offended him. And one more question nagged at her - why had he helped her? ''Len? You don't like me. And you said that you didn't want any trouble between Luka and I. So why did you help me? She probably won't like that...''

Len stiffened, his blue eyes turning cold. ''I just like to spite her,'' was all he offered, by way of explanation. ''Luka and I aren't exactly on the best of terms. We're friends, but we aren't exceptionally close. If helping you, her victim, will annoy her, then I'm up for that.''

It didn't sound like a very convincing reason. Plausible, but not convincing. Nevertheless, she decided to let the matter slide. ''Thank you anyway,'' she muttered, eyes fixed to the ground - at anywhere, instead of his face.

Lightly, cool fingers touched her cheek, and her head snapped up, eyes widening in shock. Len's hand shot back, as though he had been burnt. He stared down at his hand, then let it drop limply back to his side. ''It was nothing,'' he said emptily. ''I don't think you ever did anything to deserve Luka bullying you that way...that's all. It wasn't any trouble at all.''

''Then what did I ever do to offend you?'' she blurted out, as confused as ever. If Len thought that Luka had no reason to treat her this way...then what of him? What was his reason, then?

He glanced up at her, from beneath his long eyelashes. His lips tilted up into a slightly crooked smirk before he reached up to flick his blonde hair out of his eyes. ''What you did to offend me?'' he paused. ''You existed, that's all. That's the only thing you ever did.''

Before she could think up of a suitable retort to his ridiculous reason, he reached out, caressing her cheek. Her eyes snapped open, wide - the sensation of his cool hand against her own cheek...it was so familiar. Like she had felt his touch before. Somewhere...it was like she had known him from before. A memory of something she couldn't exactly recall.

But she had never seen him before she had arrived at his school, she was sure of that...and he certainly had never touched her before, not this way. There was a hiss, then Len withdrew his hand, glaring at her as though it was her fault that he had done that. Dazedly, her fingers drifted up to her cheek. To touch the place he had caressed. Her skin felt warm.

Without another glance at her, he turned and walked away from her. She noticed that his fingers had clenched into fists, balled up angrily at his sides - what had happened to him? What _was _happening to him? The way he had acted...it wasn't the way he usually behaved.

As she watched Len walk away, disappearing from her sight, she felt cool hands brushing lightly against her shoulders. Startled, she glanced back, and Yuma smiled reassuringly at her. She exhaled in relief. ''Yuma?''

''I heard about what happened just now. Between you and Luka,'' he sighed, sounding apologetic. ''If I had been there, I would've done something about that. Luka is just being a grump, as she always is. Just ignore her.''

''Where were you?'' she asked curiously. Yuma hadn't been in the cafeteria with the rest of Rin's group, just now. The pink haired boy shrugged, his pale green eyes gleaming with good-natured humour. He really was nothing like Len - where Yuma was bright and caring, Len was moody and temperamental. His moods...they changed faster than the eye could blink, and his mood swings unnerved her.

Yuma was nothing like that. ''I overslept,'' he admitted cheerfully. ''My alarm clock is malfunctioning, and I haven't got a new one yet. My phone's alarm was too soft to wake me up,'' he added, casting his pants pocket a glare.

She held back a laugh, instead smiling a little. ''Well, you're awake now, at least,'' she teased, feeling Yuma's arms loop around her waist. She covered his hands with hers, and she heard him sigh a little in contentment.

''And I get to see you. Isn't that even better?'' he whispered, nuzzling into the curve of her neck. She elbowed him lightly, and he jerked in mock pain. She had to laugh at his antics. Still.

Her eyes drifted to the path Len had taken just now. What had changed between them? He said that the reason he didn't like her was because she existed, but he had been...kind to her today. Kind enough to help her, when no one else had wanted to. So...why was that so?

She could still feel the warmth of his fingers brushing against her cheek.

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Len was cursing his own idiocy. He was such a moron. A complete, total utter moron, as what his sister would call him. He had given in to temptation and helped her - he just had to. She had looked so lost, so sad and lonely. And he hadn't been able to bear seeing her that way.

And when he had talked to her, to find out if she was okay, his anger at Luka had spilled over onto her. He knew that Luka did all this because they all found his situation unfair - but still. Len had reminded all of them before that he could handle his own affairs. He didn't need anyone else to interfere in what he was doing.

''Len?'' he heard his sister call for him, and he groaned, burying his head in his pillows. He really didn't want to deal with this right now. He couldn't deal with anything - he couldn't believe all that he had just done. He had touched her...he had been kind to her. He had gone against his own vows to avoid her.

Rin knocked against his door, but Len didn't crawl out of bed, instead burrowing even deeper into his blankets. After a while, Rin sighed, and footsteps sounded as she walked away from his door. Len turned over in bed.

Staring up at the ceiling, he considered his options. That had been one moment of weakness, and he wouldn't let himself get affected again. He wouldn't get affected by her...no. He could do this. He could avoid her.

Silky teal hair and emerald eyes, filled with confusion as she stared at him. Skin like satin against his fingertips. Her soft, full lips, half parted in wonderment as she stared curiously at him - Len groaned, throwing his arm across his face so that he could cover his eyes.

Why had he touched her...?


	12. Chapter 12

''So, for the Science project, you'll be split into groups of three. Come up to the noticeboard later and check your groups. I've already split all of you, so no swapping of groups. Is that understood by everyone?'' the Science teacher called to the class. There was a loud groan as the whole class started to complain.

Miku didn't mind being split into groups. She thought that, if she was put into a group with two other people, then...she might actually start to know more people. Which would be a good thing. She hoped that one of her group members would be either Rin or Yuma.

Yuma, who was sitting next to her, turned to face her, shooting her a cheeky grin. ''How good is your science? I'm no good at science. I'm a man of religion, not of science,'' Yuma sighed, slumping down over his table.

Miku held back a laugh as their teacher continued droning. ''Not very good, unfortunately. Well, you should just hope that your group members are good at this,'' she shrugged, smiling at her...boyfriend. Yuma stuck his tongue out at her in response.

Class passed by quickly, and before long the two periods were over. Miku shifted a little in her seat, then stretched her stiff body, unable to stop a little moan from escaping her lips as her tensed muscles relaxed and loosened. There was a gasp from next to her, and she turned to stare at Yuma. He was watching her.

''That moan was hot,'' he smirked at her, a spark of hunger in his eyes. Miku gaped at him, then laughed quietly and reached over to poke his forehead, shaking her head gravely.

''You shouldn't be thinking about that, you pervert,'' she scolded gently. Rising from her chair, she walked over to the noticeboard to check the groupings. Yuma walked with her, but as they neared the noticeboard Miku noticed the large crowd around it, all checking their groups. She sighed and waited, Yuma yawning next to her. He didn't seem to be very patient.

Someone came out from the crowd then, a person with bright blonde hair and cerulean eyes. Len Kagamine looked frustrated, and as he walked past her he accidentally brushed against her side. She gasped, skittering back, and his eyes slid over to meet hers. They held each other's stare for a short while.

His gaze held...she didn't know what emotion that was. There was frustration there, of course, and a great deal of reluctance - but there was also something which looked almost like...longing? Before she could look any more, he turned away and stalked off, without any single gesture of acknowledgement. Miku huffed. He was so rude!

But then...why had he helped her this morning? He had been almost nice to her, today. Blinking, she shoved the thought away. Len seemed so upset - he probably had been grouped with some people he didn't like. She wondered who his group mates were, but then she realised that she had no reason to care. Shrugging, she dove through the crowd, weaving her way to the front so she could see the board.

She scanned the lists for her name, and finally she saw it. Eagerly, she looked out for her two group members. One of them was Yuma, and at that she smiled. Poor Yuma. He was probably going to end up failing the project, with her as a project partner...she glanced at the other name. And what she saw made her stiffen in shock.

Not just shock, but a little dread too. _Len Kagamine, _the name stared back at her, written large and clear. Instantly, she reeled back, away from the board. Len? Len was in the same group as she was? She swallowed.

No wonder he had looked so irritated earlier. He couldn't stand her. And she most definitely couldn't stand him. The thought of them, being in the same group and working on the project together...honestly, it sent a shiver down her spine. And it was not a shiver of pleasure.

Dazedly, she pushed her way out of the crowd of people, and Yuma glanced up at her. His eyes narrowed. ''What happened?'' he asked, concerned, studying the look on her face. Those narrowed, meadow green eyes were filled with concern for her, and she leant her head against his arm, sighing. He wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulder, waiting for her to speak.

''I'm grouped with you,'' she announced, and he arched an eyebrow, the concern in his eyes decreasing slightly. He huffed.

''What, you don't like that I'm your group mate?'' he teased her, and she pouted at him, turning away. Yuma was always such a tease.

''Well, since I actually wanted to pass this project, no, I don't really like it.'' She sighed again, this time more dramatically. ''Guess who's our third group member?''

He blinked, looking startled. ''Who?'' he asked haltingly. Miku puffed her cheeks out, then stared up at him. His eyes were filled with curiosity, and she wondered how he would react to knowing. After all, Yuma didn't appear to get along very well with Len.

''Our third and final group member...'' here, she paused for dramatic effect, and Yuma stared intently at her, ''is Len Kagamine,'' she finally announced, and she leant her head against his shoulder once more. Yuma choked.

''You're kidding,'' were the first words out of his mouth once he had stopped spluttering. ''Please tell me that you're kidding.'' He slid his fingers down her cheek gently. ''You're kidding, right?'' his tone was pleading. Miku sighed, for what must have been the third time in five minutes.

''I'm not kidding,'' she reached up to pat his hair. ''And it worries me, because...you know, he and I don't really get along very well,'' she bit on her lower lip nervously. ''So I'm a little nervous about having to work with him for this.'' She realised with a start, to what extent she and Len didn't get along - she had never ever heard him speak her name before. Not even once.

''Hey, don't worry about Len,'' Yuma's attitude took a 180 degrees turn, and he smiled at her reassuringly. ''He won't do anything to you, so all we have to do is think about how to ace this thing! Whatever the project turns out to be about.'' Their teacher had told them that there would be this project, but hadn't exactly told them what they were supposed to do it on.

Miku nodded, and she and Yuma walked out of the classroom. It was break time, and she wanted to go have something to eat.

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Len was cursing his life. And his luck. Well, he was cursing pretty much everyone and everything. Why, of all people, did he have to be stuck with Yuma...and her? That girl? He wasn't going to think of her name. No.

As if the stupid curse wasn't enough. Now he was stuck with her. And Yuma. He had been trying his very hardest to avoid her - yet now, he was in the same group as she was for the stupid project. He growled, raking his fingers irritatedly through his blonde hair.

Holding his fringe up, away from his eyes, he leant his head back against the trunk of the tree he liked to do his thinking in. So what should he do now? He couldn't believe that, even after all his efforts, he still had to talk to her...what Rin had once told him before floated through his mind, the words sharp and stinging. _The curse will find a way, no matter how hard you try to avoid it. And then it'll end up hurting more._

Well, it seemed like for once, Rin was right. He groaned, letting the strands of blonde hair fall back through his fingers, into his eyes. So all this was his retribution, then? Great.

''How long more are you going to hide up in there?'' He glanced down, at his sister. She was standing with her hands on her hips, glaring up at him, and once again Len groaned.

''Rin...leave me alone...'' he tried hard to not growl at her. ''Can't you see that I'm already in a bad enough mood?'' he asked pointedly.

''Well, maybe if you actually start being nice to Miku, you wouldn't be in such a bad mood,'' Rin said matter-of-factly. ''And just come down from the tree. You can't keep hiding from her.''

Len sighed, then swung down from the branch, one of his legs hooking around the sturdy limb so that he was hanging in mid-air. His blonde hair fell out of his rubber band, the messy strands falling around his face. Rin came into view, her face upside-down. She shook her head at him, rolling her blue eyes in disdain.

''You're going to fall off the branch,'' Rin said bluntly. ''Anyway, I heard from Miku just now, about how you all were going to be in the same group for the science project. What are you going to do about that? Since it obviously won't help in your whole, 'I'm going to stay away from her because it's for her own good' thing.''

''I don't know,'' Len frowned, though to Rin it looked like he was smiling, since he was still upside-down. ''I guess I'll just avoid Yuma and...her and show up only when it's necessary. It's not like I really care for what grade I get.''

''Avoid Miku?'' Rin arched an eyebrow at him. ''Are you sure you can do that, Len? Especially after the way you helped her, this morning?''

Len flipped off the branch, landing gracefully on his feet. He gritted his teeth, glancing away from his sister. Her question made sense. ''I know I can avoid her. She's nothing important to me, after all,'' he tried to sound convincing.

He sister didn't look as sure as he was, though - and deep down, a little part of Len himself wasn't very convinced by his words, either.


	13. Chapter 13

_Another dream...is this a dream? It feels so real. Why can't I move? I'm trapped in a body, unable to control myself. I think...I think I'm waiting for something. Someone._

_Why can't I remember who you are? Teetering on the edge of the chasm...an immoral memory, a lost and forgotten memory which left behind no trace. All I get is a sense...a sense that you should be here with me._

_But who are you? Who is 'you'? I can't recall anything, not a single thing...I can't remember you. You, who is supposed to be so precious to me, something I can't ever let go of - I cry out your name, because I hope my voice can reach your ears. Why won't you come back?_

_I continue crying out for you, even when the tears roll down. And you ask me, why do the tears trail down your cheeks? You seem to have forgotten everything...I know that you're not supposed to be treating me this way. You'll come back, won't you? The person who promised to, no matter what happened?_

_You never broke your promises. You promised me so many times before that you would return...so you'll come back, won't you? Len?_

Miku blinked, jerking out of her reverie. Her thoughts had been so strange. She had no idea what she had been thinking - everything had been floating around, in her mind, and her thoughts had just...wandered. She couldn't even remember what she had been thinking of.

Turning over in her bed, she sighed, closing her eyes tiredly once again. It was time to sleep. For her, it had been a rather long day, and she just wanted to sink into the deep blissfulness of dreams. Sleep claimed her quickly, and then she could feel no more, her world fading away.

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She was in a dense forest. She didn't know why, but the forest looked strangely familiar. Like she had seen it before. She tried to look around, but she realised she couldn't move - it was as though she was trapped in someone else's body, able to see out of their eyes but unable to control their actions. She grew a little nervous - all this was so strange. She had never experienced this trapped feeling before...

It felt just the way her thoughts had been like, earlier. Immobile. Able to think, but paralysed, unable to do anything else...the bushes at the edge of the clearing rustled, and she wanted to fidget, the fear within her building. But that fear clashed with a feeling of anticipation, of happiness - the conflicting emotions warred and clashed inside her. And through the whole confusing swirl of feelings she felt, she couldn't move, frozen and rooted to the ground.

Bright blonde hair, twisted up into a small little ponytail. Cerulean blue eyes, eager and nervous, at the same time. The strangely familiar person stepped out from behind the bushes, into the clearing, and Miku froze. This boy...another memory, another dream - was she dreaming? It felt so real...was it Len?

She parted her lips, intending to ask him what he was doing here, where were they - but the words which came out of her mouth were completely different from what she had originally intended to say. ''You managed to come?'' she asked, voice filled with elation.

The blonde boy approached her cautiously, kneeling gracefully before her so that their faces were at the same level. Smiling sweetly at her, he reached out, taking hold of her hands in his own larger ones. ''I did,'' he said softly. ''Even if it's for only a short while, I wanted to see you. So long as...I don't get caught,'' he reached up, caressing her face. ''Michaela?''

Something in her reacted to the name, as though it was...hers. There was a flutter in her chest, a flutter of happiness that he had spoken her name, and she struggled against the feelings of pleasure - he didn't like her. Why was he doing this to her? And...since when did she know of the name Michaela? She had never heard of the name in her entire life...or at least, she didn't think that she had ever heard of it.

''Len,'' she dropped her gaze, her teal fringe falling into her eyes as she looked down at the ground, avoiding his stare. Long, slender fingers brushed her fringe away, tilting her chin up so that she had to stare into his mesmerising blue eyes. His eyes searched hers for a while, and she wondered whether he could see, through her eyes, that she wasn't Michaela.

She was Miku, not this...Michaela which he apparently thought that he was talking to. And why couldn't she move? Why couldn't she control what was happening to her, the emotions that she was currently feeling? Len's eyes softened as they stared at each other, and she felt her breath catch. _He's so beautiful, _the thought ran through her mind - but whose thought? Was it hers? Or Michaela's? She couldn't be sure...

Len closed his eyes, his face lowering to hers, and she closed her eyes too, her body doing what she did not tell it to. Warm lips covered hers, a familiar, reassuring kiss, one that she loved and adored, and she found herself kissing back, her arms sliding around Len's slim waist. This unfamiliar feeling of contentment...

She could feel his hands pressing into her back, holding her close to himself protectively. It was a gesture that she found most unexpected, seeing that this was Len...and Len didn't like her, did he? So why was he kissing her?

''I never want to lose you,'' he murmured against her mouth, pulling back to rub his nose against hers. ''If you were to disappear from my sight...the pain of witnessing that would cripple me,'' the words ended in a sigh, and in her mind she recoiled. _Why do those words sound so familiar...as though I've heard them before somewhere? I know that...someone has told me this before...but when? And who?_

''I'll be here for you, for all of time,'' she promised him, the words coming out of their own accord. She desperately tried to regain control of her mouth and voice, but to no avail. ''I love you, Len. And I'll never leave your side. You...you won't leave me either, will you?''

''No matter what ever happens, I'll find you,'' his blue eyes filled with a blazing determination. ''Even if I have to search the ends of the world for you...even if I have to wait countless centuries for you to return to me, I'll come back for you. You'll wait for me, won't you?''

She leant her head against his chest, closing her eyes, through the body she couldn't move of her own will. ''Yes,'' she murmured, through the lips she no longer had control of. ''I'll wait. Remember me, Len, even after my demise. I'll come back for you. I promise you.''

''If there's one thing I won't ever forget, it's you,'' he whispered, taking a lock of hair and pressing it to his lips. ''I don't care that what we're doing isn't allowed, that it's forbidden...that it's an immoral act. You belong to me, for all of eternity, and I belong to you.''

She felt her eyes snap open, and then she was somewhere else, no longer in the forest clearing. She was in a meadow, the tall grasses waving, brushing softly against her long legs. Len stood before her, his blue eyes cool. His blonde hair was let down, and it fell casually around his face, brushing his shoulders.

''Do you remember me?'' he asked, voice soft. Miku realised that she had regained control of her body, of all of her movements, and slowly she edged away from Len, her heart racing in her chest. What was he asking her? Remember...she almost could recall. Something. She wasn't very sure what it was...

''No,'' she answered, voice hesitant, and she watched as something almost like hurt shimmered through his cerulean eyes. He approached her, and she watched him, her own eyes wide, and slowly Len reached out, his fingers trailing gently across her cheek.

''When will you remember?'' he asked softly. ''I wonder...am I the one who has forgotten everything? All the sweet promises, the whispered words? No matter what I do, you fade away, and I can't do anything to make you come back, despite what we said then...''

What they had said. Did that mean...that what she had been shown earlier was all real? Miku gazed up at him, biting on her lip, and he searched her eyes, expression filled with hurt. ''Why do your tears roll down when you don't remember anything?'' he whispered, brushing lightly against her cheek. His fingertips glistened with wetness, and she blinked.

She hadn't noticed her tears. He closed his eyes and sighed. ''Because you remember something?'' he murmured. ''Because you remember that I broke my promise? I don't know...I think that it's all for your own good. For my own good, too. Everything which I'm doing now. I love you...but if that love is killing you from the inside, then maybe I should throw every single bit of that love away?''

''Don't,'' the word slipped out, surprising herself. ''Don't break your promise, Len. You promised me that no matter what, you'll find me...won't you? You'll come back to me? I keep calling out your name, in my heart, and you don't remember anything...about what you said. You broke your promise, the memories we shared...did I forget it? Or did you?''

She didn't understand the words which had flowed out of her mouth, but they seemed natural to her. They seemed right, somehow. He stared at her, his expression startled, then his lips curved up into a gentle smile.

''I didn't forget, Michaela...Miku,'' he whispered, before turning around and just...walking away. Shocked by the sudden retreat, she chased after him, but he got further and further away from her, his figure becoming smaller, and try as she might she just couldn't reach out towards him.

She jerked, gasping, her eyes snapping open. With some relief, she noticed that she was in her room, with her blankets covering her up to her chin. Pushing herself up from her bed, she shook her head, placing her slender hands at her forehead. Squeezing her eyes shut, she groaned - what kind of dream had that been?

A dream within a dream...? Her eyes widened as she glanced up, out of the window which curtains she hadn't drawn tonight - cerulean eyes met her gaze, filled with agony, his silky blonde hair twisted up into a small ponytail. Len Kagamine was staring right back at her, from her first floor window. He blinked at her, smiling a sad smile, then jumped off the ledge. Letting out a small scream, she instantly slid out of her bed, rushing over to the window.

The window ledge was big and sturdy enough to support the weight of a person, true, but this was the first floor...how had he gotten up from the ground floor? Throwing open the windows, she looked down, at the ground, where she expected him to be lying, still and unmoving. How could he just jump off like that? And why had he even been here, looking into her room? How had he managed to get onto the ledge?

But there wasn't anyone there, on the ground - there was no sign that anyone had even been here. Exhaling, she swallowed and slowly retreated, slumping down against the walls of her room. Her eyes closed in confusion.

If there was no one there, did that mean that the boy she had just seen was nought but a mere illusion? But...she had been so sure. She was so sure that he had really been there. Len Kagamine had been there, watching her sleep. Her senses told her so, and she trusted them.

She was sure that he had really been here...because there was no way that she could have ever imagined the look of overwhelming misery which had been present in his cerulean eyes.

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_**Solitaryloner: **Hey, does anyone know that I've created a forum? It's called 'I less than 3 LEN' and...well, I hope some people could comment and post stuff in it so I won't look like such a failure, with an empty forum...anyway, just go check my forum out, please?_


	14. Chapter 14

Len was cursing himself. His actions really were those of a moron. He couldn't believe that he had even gone so far as to watch her sleeping. He had thought that he would be able to resist her...but that didn't seem to be the case. In fact, the harder he tried to avoid her, the more he wanted to see her. It left him feeling stupid.

He hadn't meant to watch her. But then, he had been unable to sleep, so he had decided to take a little night stroll, to calm down his pent up nerves. When he had walked halfway across the school campus, he had just felt this irresistible urge to climb up to one of the windows of the building he had been standing outside. So he had foolishly given in to that desire and made his way up, perching on the window ledge.

He hadn't noticed that the building was that of the girls' dorms. Nor had he known that the window he had decided to look into...would be the window of Miku Hatsune's room. The curtains had been parted, the moonlight making its way into the room beyond, so it had been easy for him to look inside, to see who was dwelling inside the room...who he had seen had made him freeze, both in joy and in horror.

Miku...not that he would ever say her name aloud, not to anyone. Least of all to himself. He had seen her, with her teal hair spilling out over her pillows, a peaceful expression on her lovely face as she slept. And he had wondered what she had been dreaming about. He had known that the logical thing to do was to leave, to stop torturing himself with what he couldn't have - but obviously, he hadn't listened to logic.

He had stayed and watched, even though his mind had been screaming at him to get out of there. He had chosen to stay, even though he had known that watching her sleep would bring him nothing but pain, pain at the thought of never being able to obtain what he yearned for. Because that was all he could do, wasn't it? Yearn for something that he had lost, something that he couldn't allow himself to get back...

And then all of a sudden, she had woken up, her green eyes snapping open, filled with shock. And that had made him long to know, even more, what exactly had she been dreaming of. He was so tired of not knowing...of having no idea what she was thinking. Especially when he had once known everything about her, everything there had been to know. It was impossible to forget that kind of bond.

It was a foolish thought, but it was a plan that he had no choice but to try. If his love for her was killing her from the inside, then wouldn't it be better if he left her well alone? Watching her shrivelling up and fading away because of all his excessive love for her...if that was all his fault, then he ought to do his best to stay away from her. Because it was all for her own good, right? He didn't want to hurt her again.

He knew that she had seen him, outside her window - he definitely hadn't imagined the look of shock in her eyes, when their gazes had met. He had smiled at her once. Just once, so that he could tell her how sorry he was...how sorry he was about everything, not just because of what was happening right now. But also because of everything which had happened before, in the past. He had been the one to start everything.

Then he had leapt off her window. It was a small jump for him, and he had landed on the ground completely unscathed. After that, he had quickly ran away, for he knew that Miku would search for him outside her window. He didn't want her to know that all of this was real, that it hadn't been a mere dream - for he couldn't afford to let her know that she had such an effect on him. He couldn't let her know anything at all, because he didn't want her to get hurt.

He now knew that what he had just done was idiotic. Here he was, doing his best to try and avoid her - but instead of avoiding her, he was watching her from her window. He gritted his teeth as he ran his hand frustratedly through his blond hair. This wasn't going to work, not at this rate. He was a hopeless fool, especially when it came to her. Little wonder that Rin was always so exasperated because of him.

Lying in his bed, he stared up at the blank white ceiling as though it would provide him with the answers he sought. Not that there was any such luck. He was tired of always being so conflicted - on one hand, he knew what he had to do. He had to stay away from her, for her own good. Yet on the other hand, he couldn't help longing for her...longing for her touch, for the sound of his name on her lips. It was a craving that he couldn't forget, a forbidden yearning.

He could still remember the one last promise he had ever made to her, the previous cycle, the last, latest time he had got his heart broken. _I'll never let you go. Even if everyone else in the world demands that we stay apart from each other, I won't ever let go of you. I promise you on that. You'll swear to me too, right? You won't ever forget me? No matter what happens...you'll come back to me, right?_

He had broken his promise of never letting go of her. Did that mean that he was a liar, then? His heart twisted at the thought - _but it's all for her own good, isn't it?_ He tried to reassure himself. It didn't work, though, for he knew that he had lied to her. He had promised to come back for her, yet he hadn't...for he didn't want to risk getting his heart broken. Again. The same thing, happening over and over...

Was he being selfish, by doing this? He pressed his lips together as he thought. No, he finally decided. He wasn't being selfish at all. This wasn't being selfish, right? Since she didn't remember anything about what he had promised her before...if she couldn't recall anything, then did that mean that he hadn't broken any promise, since she recalled nothing to begin with? That made sense to him.

_Even if you don't know that I ever did anything wrong...I'm sorry. I have to apologise to you. Because I know that you're hurting, as a result of what I did. Although you can't remember anything about what I had once said to you, I know you hurt. I'm sorry for making you hurt - I'm sorry for making you false promises that I can't even keep. I'm sorry for hurting you._

He hadn't meant to hurt her. But he had, and it didn't matter whether it was intentionally or not. He had hurt her, even if she didn't know it, and he knew that the regret would haunt him for the rest of this cycle. Still, he wouldn't change his mind about staying away from her - because the hurt that he was putting her through would be better than what she would suffer, if he didn't avoid her.

Though he kept repeating that in his head, he couldn't seem to really, truly convince himself. He had to wonder whether it was because he wasn't strong willed enough to see his plan through...or whether it was because everything he was thinking was a mere lie. Avoiding her was good for both her and him, wasn't it? Because then, in the end, both of them would hurt less than if he tried to talk to her, like previous times. Like the times before.

_I try my hardest to forget about all the memories that we shared...but no matter how hard I try to push everything away, your radiant smile lingers on in my memory, and I can't forget it. I don't know why. My mind seems to do its best to cling on to my memories of you...like I don't want to forget. My entire body, my soul, me...I don't wish to forget how precious you are to me._

Frustrated, Len squeezed his eyes shut, intending to go to sleep. He didn't want to have to remember any more than he already did. His memories cut at him, sharp and vivid, more biting than any other weapon. And frankly, he was exhausted. He had spent so much energy on trying to forget what she meant to him that he hadn't been able to rest properly. Trying not to remember anything...it was exhausting.

He didn't want to trouble himself anymore. He wouldn't allow himself to linger on her, not again. Not like tonight. After all, he had promised Yuma, hadn't he? He had promised Yuma that he wouldn't interfere, not this time. He wouldn't do anything to challenge Yuma - for why should he do such a thing, when getting hurt yet again was the last thing that he ever wanted to experience, in this cycle?

No, Len was sure that giving her up to Yuma was a good choice - though again, his heart clenched when he thought of the two of them being together. Even if it wasn't something that he liked, it was still the right decision...let Yuma be the one to hurt this time. Len would be washing his hands of her. He wouldn't let himself be affected by her presence, not ever again. Not like how she had tonight.

But then, if giving her up to Yuma was the right choice...why did he feel so hollow inside?


	15. Chapter 15

He was trapped in his nightmares, unable to claw his way out. Len hissed as he struggled to wake up - he knew that all these were nothing but dreams, flashes of the past come back to haunt him - but why was it that he couldn't seem to crawl out of this darkness?

He couldn't even move, and he hated that. Broken memories and fragmented shards of the past - his mind was showing him things that he didn't want to remember, and try as he might he just couldn't lock all the memories away. The only thing he could do was grit his teeth and watch, as the shattered dreams came back to taunt him. Being unforgiving.

Flashes of things he couldn't help but remember. There wasn't anything that he could forget, not when it came to _her _- sometimes, he wanted to forget it all, and to burn that immoral memory away. This was more than just going against the laws of his brethren. He had gone against his own friends, his own principles. He had gone against everything he had...as Yuma was so very fond of reminding him.

And then the memory of when it all had first started came to him. He watched it come, both anticipating and dreading the recollection - it was both a sweet dream and a beautiful nightmare. One of those dreams you wanted to forget, but at the same time wanted to keep forever. One of those dreams that were imprinted and branded onto your very soul.

_''Yuma,'' Len sighed, coming up behind his pink haired best friend as the other boy gazed down from the horizon. He was watching the mortal world again, Len assumed - recently, Yuma had been watching that particular world aplenty. And Len wondered what was it in that world which intrigued Yuma so. He had never seen his best friend being so distracted before._

_''Are you here to ask me what I'm doing?'' the pink haired boy drawled, not even glancing up at Len as the blond boy settled himself next to him. ''Because I'm not going to tell you. As usual. You've already asked me...about a million times or so before,'' Yuma rolled his green eyes. ''Don't ask me why yet again. Look over the edge. There's a reason why I invited you all the way out here, after all.''_

_Len looked over the horizon, over the periphery, down at the mortal world. And his eyes narrowed as he noticed what Yuma had been watching - a human girl with teal hair. ''A mortal?'' Len's voice went from friendly to cold. ''You're interested in a mortal, Yuma? You do know that this goes against our laws...''_

_''I don't care,'' Yuma sighed, finally turning around to stare at Len. His green eyes were narrowed as he met the blond boy's gaze. ''I've watched her for so many years, I've already forgotten what it's like to...not notice her,'' he whispered. ''Her name is Michaela. Michaela Hatsani. And...I think I might love her,'' he paused. ''Even if that goes against our laws.''_

_Len stared blankly at his best friend for a moment. Yuma had went back to staring at the mortal girl, and as Len looked down at her, a rush of strong emotion went through his body. Hate. Mortals shouldn't be allowed to have such a strong pull over them. Mortals were lesser than they were, after all. And the punishment for breaking their laws..._

_It would be strict. No, Yuma could not be allowed to have feelings for a mere mortal girl. Len peered closely at her. Granted, she seemed rather pretty as she went about her daily business - she seemed to be selecting a dress with another man, if he squinted just a little. Was she married, perhaps? All the more this was foolish, especially for Yuma._

_Len couldn't exactly see what the girl looked like - they were too far away, and she wasn't standing at an angle where he could see her face. But he knew she had to be fairly stunning in order to catch Yuma's attention that way. It had been a long time since Yuma had last shown any romantic interest in someone. If this girl hadn't been mortal, Len wouldn't have minded. More likely, he would've approved._

_But for them, to break a law meant...severe repercussions. And Len, as Yuma's best friend, wasn't going to let the pink haired idiot throw every single thing away just because of this silly little infatuation. The High Court had already noticed Yuma's frequent absence from his duties, and they were calling for some action to be taken. If they realised this..._

_If they realised that Yuma had been shirking his duties just to watch this mortal, Yuma would be harshly dealt with. And Len wouldn't allow that to happen to his best friend. He had to save him from himself, even if Yuma didn't like it - this had already been going on for so long. Len knew he wouldn't have found out if he hadn't found Yuma watching her here._

_Len had been wondering, for a long time, what Yuma had been up to. After much and constant pressurising, Yuma had finally given in and told him to meet him here, and not to tell anyone else. Len appreciated that trust, and he would fulfil his promise of not telling anyone. He would drag Yuma out of this infatuation, and he would do this with his own two hands._

_The blond boy rose from the ground, brushing some dirt off his white pants. ''Let's go,'' he murmured, staring down at his best friend. ''The High Court is looking for you again,'' he added as an incentive to tear Yuma away from here. ''You'd best be around when they send officials out to search for you. Your constant disappearance is...worrying them.''_

_He didn't let any of his hastily formed plans show on his face. Usually, Len was not so quick and rushed in making plans, especially not when it involved the death of another. But this was different - this involved his thoughtless best friend. Yuma's position and favour with the High Court was already shaky due to his frequent absence from his duties._

_This infatuation with the mortal girl had already taken place for a rather long time - for a few years, as Yuma had said earlier. And a few years was an awfully long time to be so very interested in a mortal. Len knew that he had to settle this problem as soon as possible, before the High Court began investigating - he couldn't possibly allow Yuma's infatuation to drag on for another couple of years._

_True, Len liked the idea of waiting a few more years before thinking of a way to resolve this, without killing someone. But time was one luxury he could not afford. Yuma was already being treated with suspicion about his dreaminess and frequent disappearances. Now Len knew the reason why, he was going to have to remove that little reason for Yuma._

_Yuma slowly got up as well. ''You won't tell anyone about this, will you?'' Yuma asked softly. ''You're the only person I trust enough to tell this to, Len. I swear I won't do anything. I haven't done anything for years...I only sat here and watched. I won't make a move - I know that would definitely break our rules, and despite what you think, I'm not stupid.''_

_Len smiled, though he felt anything but happy. ''I won't tell anyone,'' he promised the boy. But I will end this myself, he told himself quietly. He was going to make sure that this mortal girl could never do anything to distract Yuma, not ever again. It was for Yuma's own good - they simply were not allowed to deviate from their duties just for mere mortals._

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_Armed with a gun of Judgement, Len had quietly slipped away from his home, falling down to the human world. He gritted his teeth as he landed onto the ground, bending his knees to absorb the impact - Len was good at reaching the mortal world. It wasn't the first time he had dropped past there, after all._

_It would just be the first time he had gone there to kill someone. His fingers curled around the handle of his silver gun - no, kill was too harsh a word. He was here to eliminate the mortal distraction that was endangering Yuma's position with the High Court. Yuma might not appreciate this at first, but eventually he would see the truth._

_''Where is she...?'' Len muttered, tucking the gun inside the inner pocket of his white jacket. He had changed to more mortal seeming clothes, so that he wouldn't stand out too much amongst the humans. Tilting his head, he walked into the town, eyes searching for the girl - at the thought of her, that surge of strong emotion ran through him again._

_He gritted his teeth, his fingers curling up into fists. Michaela Hatsani, hm? His lips curled into a grimace - he didn't like this mortal. Mortals who could capture their attention...they weren't any good, and Len would eliminate her before she could cause Yuma much more harm. It didn't matter that she didn't know what she had been doing to Yuma._

_Then his finely tuned senses prickled, and Len's head whipped to the side. The girl he had seen here while he had been up in his homeland with Yuma, with her long teal hair and a long black dress. Her hair was twisted up into an elegant bun, loose tendrils escaping the knot, and her black dress was intricately designed, the upper bodice clinging on to her body in a way he couldn't help but notice._

_All he could see of her was her back - he could identify her solely because of that distinctively coloured hair. She was walking down the street ahead of him, seemingly oblivious to her surroundings. The sky was cloudy, and a faint drizzle had begun falling from the skies. No one else was out on the streets, no one save for both him and this mortal girl._

_It would be easy enough to kill her, then return to his homeland before getting caught. He winced at the word 'kill' - it sounded so...cold. But this was necessary, wasn't it? It was for Yuma's own good. If Len didn't get rid of this pesky mortal, then Yuma would continue being distracted by her. And that wouldn't bode very well for his best friend._

_The drizzle made it hard to aim at her - the increasingly heavy rain made everything blurry and indistinct. Len decided that he ought to get nearer to her before aiming at her, so he quickened his pace to catch up with the girl. He had intended to remain silent, so that she could die a quick and unknowing death. That seemed more...humane, to him._

_But in his haste, he hadn't bothered to quieten his footsteps, and the loud clicking of his shoes against the cobbled stone pavement resounded loudly in the deserted streets, amidst the pattering of the raindrops on the ground. As he approached her, the mortal girl turned around, obviously having heard the sound of his footsteps. He slowed to a stop, shocked._

_For the first time, he had a clear glimpse of her face. And he was taken aback by it. She was lovely, exquisitely lovely - she had a beauty which rivalled that of his kind, with her clear, unblemished skin and full pink lips. Her eyelashes were startlingly long and thick, her pale cheeks carrying a faint hint of rose. But what stunned him the most were her eyes._

_She had beautiful eyes. Her eyes were green, the soothing green of a summer forest. They were large and innocent, her eyes so free of guile that he couldn't imagine her ever having uttered a lie. Her eyes were the loveliest eyes he had ever seen before, mortal or otherwise, and she gazed at him, confusion swirling in their depths as the rain fell around them._

_Len was supposed to kill her. He was supposed to draw his gun out from his jacket right now, hold the gun up to her, pull the trigger, then kill her to prevent her from continuing to distract Yuma. This was the reason why he had come down here to begin with. But he couldn't - the strong feeling that he had thought was hate stopped him from doing that._

_That strong feeling, that surge of emotion he didn't recognise...it was stronger than ever as he stared into her eyes. The only thing that strange emotion allowed him to do was to stare at her, shocked into silence, unable to do anything else. He couldn't kill her, he knew as he looked into her expressive eyes - there was no way he could raise his gun and shoot her._

_He had taken a look inside the most beautiful pair of eyes he had ever seen. And because of that one small glimpse, he had fallen._

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Len shot awake, his eyes wide with panic, his hands shooting to his head as he shivered in bed. The faint tendrils of the dream still clung on tightly to him, refusing to free him. Refusing to let go. And he didn't want to forget, the same way he detested the idea of recalling. Why couldn't this all just remain in the past? Hidden recollections, coming out and haunting him, memories which wouldn't leave him alone.

How easily he had fallen, then. How easily he had forgotten his own promise to himself. He had been supposed to eliminate her, this girl which had distracted Yuma so - but then he hadn't. Because he had taken one look into the irresistible depths of her emerald eyes, and he had managed to forget about every single thing he had promised that he would do. He had betrayed everything, either way.

_I wasn't supposed to have let myself get affected by any of this. But why did such a thing happen? Was I not meant to kill her? Did God allow me the chance to enjoy eternal bliss? But if He had...then he had taken that bliss away far too soon. Every time I think of the way she had been torn away from me, every time I think of what I could've done..._

_At least if I had killed her then, she, Yuma and I wouldn't be suffering for the rest of eternity the way we are now. _Len let his hands slump down from his forehead to the bed, his arms landing on the soft mattress. ''You truly can't remember who I am?'' he whispered, his voice brimming with hurt. It was only when he was alone like this could he ever admit that it hurt, to see her with someone else. It hurt badly.

But then, he shouldn't be surprised that she couldn't recall anything. ''I don't want to hurt you again,'' he continued, voice barely audible. Reaching out a hand into empty air, he cupped it - he knew the curve of her face as well as he knew his own, and now he closed his eyes, imagining that she was leaning her soft cheek into his palm. ''I don't want to go to you with the intention of hurting you, not ever again...''

Sometimes, he wondered whether he was going mad, talking to himself like this. Imagining that she was with him, by his side. He missed her...he missed her so terribly that her absence was driving him insane. Still, he refused to admit to that yearning, knowing that to admit to that craving was to end up hurting her and himself once again. He didn't want to ever hurt her, not like the way he had tried to before. The way he had wanted to kill her.

But then...staying away hurt, too. If being with her hurt, and being away from her hurt as well...then what was he supposed to do?


	16. Chapter 16

Today, for first period, Miku had her first Geography lesson. And apparently, for Geography class, she was seated next to a certain blond haired, blue eyed boy...who absolutely refused to acknowledge her.

She had noticed him stiffen when she moved to sit beside him, but otherwise there had been no other reaction to her nearness. Miku had hesitantly shifted, trying to seem as inconspicuous as possible, towards the other end of the table, so that she could sit as far away from the brooding boy as possible.

She figured that, if he didn't want to talk to her, then she wouldn't talk to him either. Again, she shot the blond boy a wary glance - Len turned to meet her stare, his eyes narrowed and filled with hostility. Miku swallowed nervously, instantly looking away from the said boy. The smouldering anger she had seen in his eyes...

Well, what had she ever done to deserve being treated in such a way, by him? The only thing she had ever done to Len Kagamine was...nothing. What was it that he had said before? That her very existence offended him. She gritted her teeth at the thought - unfeeling, unreasonable jerk. Just because he was good-looking didn't mean that he had any right to be so...she didn't even know what to say.

The teacher droned on and on. Obviously, no one was paying him any attention. Miku's thoughts drifted back to the dream she had had, last night. The strange dream...the one that had featured Len. She was sure that Len Kagamine had appeared in her dream last night - but why would she dream about him? What was more, she had dreamt of him as though...he loved her. Which made absolutely no sense whatsoever.

She didn't know whether she wanted to have that dream again or not. It had been a very strange dream, but...at the same time, she had rather liked it. In the dream, there had been a sense of protection, of warmth and safety, of the likes she had never felt before. And all that protectiveness she had felt in the dream had come from Len. Or at least, the boy who had looked like Len, if it hadn't been him.

Len hated her, his attitude made that obvious enough. So why did she dream of him being...sweet? Attentive? Caring? Especially towards her? Maybe she was just masochistic. That would explain everything. It would explain why she found Len strangely attractive, despite his rudeness and general unpleasantness. She couldn't deny that he was very handsome.

Maybe she felt this way about him because he had proved before that he could be nice. She still couldn't forget that time when Luka had bullied her before everyone in the cafeteria...and Len had been the only person who had done anything to help her. She honestly didn't know why he had even bothered. He detested her - but he had helped her when no one else had wanted to. What did that mean?

Did he not hate her as much as she thought he did? She shot him another wary glance, then hastily she shrank back as he gave her an evil look. No, she wasn't underestimating the extent to which he disliked her. She held back a sigh - if only there was some way for her to read Len's mind, and know what he was thinking. It was so confusing, everything he was doing, and she wondered what he was trying to prove.

Maybe he was trying to show everyone else that he didn't hate her. Or something like that. But if he was trying to convince everyone else, in school, that he had nothing against the new girl, then he was doing an awfully poor job of that - when she had walked into the Geography Room, this morning, he had met her gaze with a bitter glare that had almost sent her scurrying out of the room, in fear for her own life.

What else could he possibly be trying to do, then? To show to everyone? He was a puzzle she couldn't solve. Normally, she wouldn't have bothered - she preferred to keep to herself, and to stay out of other people's business. But this time, his strange behaviour...well, it seemed to concern her. And so, she was rather curious about what point he was trying to make.

That he could be nice, even to people he didn't like? Len claimed that the reason why he had helped her with Luka, had been because he had wanted to irk the pink haired girl. He claimed that he had no intentions of helping _her _- rather, it had been for his own benefit. But Miku didn't feel very convinced by that claim. If he really had wanted to annoy Luka, he could have done something else...couldn't he have?

So what was his real motive in helping her? Maybe he was just a sadist, who enjoyed watching her squirm in confusion. She wished that she could speak to Yuma about her problems - she knew he would be willing to help her figure all this out. But then, Len and Yuma didn't seem particularly fond of each other, and she felt that Yuma's viewpoint on this matter might be...biased, against Len.

Perhaps it would be better for her to think about this herself. There wasn't any point to dragging her boyfriend into her personal confusion. She didn't wish to be influenced by anyone else's personal opinions, anyway. She glanced away from the sullen boy, seated next to her - one day, she would be able to guess at what was running through his mind. Until then, she would just avoid him as much as possible.

Len wanted to yell in frustration. Whoever came up with the class's seating arrangements better had a good reason for placing him next to _her. _The one girl he was trying his hardest to avoid. And ignore. Not that he was doing a particularly good job, of both. He could feel her presence next to him, so intensely that he wondered whether he would end up going insane.

Even out of the corner of his eyes, he could see the puzzled look on her face, as she continuously shot him discreet glances. Or, at least she thought she was being discreet. Len noticed every single time she looked at him, her gaze burning a hole right through him. He was so aware of her that it hurt, to be in her presence. Shaking his head a little, he gritted his teeth, trying to avoid her eyes.

_Her eyes..._in those vibrant green depths, he could remember the promise that he had broken. Something was hidden deep in the depths of those beautiful eyes, making him wince in guilt. She couldn't remember anything, he knew that - so why was it that her eyes seemed to accuse him? Every time she glanced at him, that piercing green gaze...something called out to him, making him yearn.

To yearn for what he had long accepted lost. He wanted to run away from here, to forget everything which he had tried to set aside - but he couldn't. It wasn't just because he was currently in class, and he couldn't leave the lesson - it was her. Her presence trapped him, made him feel like he was supposed to stay. He didn't think that he could walk away from her, not even if he tried his very hardest.

_I promised to stay, to take you away from all the pain...do you remember that? So long as you don't remember, then you'll be safe from me. And as long as you're safe, then you'll be happy, right? If you're happy...I'll be happy. Won't I? I don't know. _He shut his eyes, trying to block out the errant thoughts running through his head. Why was he thinking of this?

If he forgot everything, would he be happier, then? He heard something drop, and his gaze snapped to the source of the sound. A wooden pencil had fallen to the floor, making a clattering sound, next to his chair. Instantly, without thinking, Len reached down to pick up the pencil. At the same time, a slender hand reached out for the same pencil, closing around it first. Len's fingers brushed that hand.

The other person visibly stiffened, and Len glanced up, meeting her lovely green eyes. She was staring, clearly surprised, at him, her full lips slightly parted in shock. Len couldn't breathe as he returned her stare, both of their hands still touching. He knew he ought to move his hand away from hers, but he just couldn't bring himself to do so. It had been so long...since he had last touched her skin.

Before he could stop himself, his fingers had closed around her hand, lightly caressing her delicate skin. There was a soft gasp from her, and his gaze flicked up to meet hers. Her eyes had widened at his touch, obviously startled, and he swallowed, that gasp bringing him back to his senses. Instantly, he released her hand as though it had burnt his skin, sitting back up in his chair so that he could listen to the lesson.

His emotions were in a turmoil. How could he have slipped, just now? He had thought that he would be able to withstand the temptation that she presented - but instead, with that one, small touch, he had caved in. He had been unable to help himself, unable to resist the urge to get closer to her. Why had he done that? He couldn't explain it to anyone, least of all to himself. But he knew he had to forget that.

He couldn't break his promise to himself. He had slipped once - he wouldn't slip again. He couldn't allow himself to touch her, lest he forget about everything that had happened in the past, whenever he had tried to...be close to her. He had to forget the yearning he felt for her touch, for the feeling of her soft skin against his own. It was for her own good, and he wouldn't give in to his own cravings.

_It's for her own good. If I give in to what I want...I'll end up hurting her again, _he repeated the thought in his mind, over and over again, like some kind of mantra. He ignored the quizzical look she shot him, as she slowly sat up in her chair. He tried his hardest to ignore everything that she did, and he tried hard to pretend as though nothing had happened between them. It was only an accident.

He would tighten the grip of control he had, over himself. He couldn't afford to slip up and make another mistake - the more such mistakes happened, the more likely it would be that he would...forget himself. He couldn't forget himself, could he? No. He couldn't. He didn't want to risk everything taking place...he didn't want to get his heart broken. Again. He was tired of hurting because of all this.

Somehow, though, the harder he tried to ignore her gaze, the more aware he became of her. Silently, he cursed. If only he hadn't leant down and tried to pick up the pencil, just now.

Miku's gaze darted away from the scowling boy once more. She couldn't seem to stop her eyes from travelling over to him, every few minutes or so. It was annoying her, but at the same time she didn't really want it to stop. The blond boy no longer glared at her, instead seeming to try his best to ignore her. And she was perfectly fine with that, though...some small part of her felt disappointed about his avoidance.

Why had he touched her? She understood if he had accidentally brushed against her hand, while reaching out to pick up her pencil - whenever people's things dropped, it was instinctive for her to reach out for them, as well. But then...why had he held on to her hand, after that? She thought he would have let go at once, since he despised her. So why didn't he?

Rather, instead of immediately removing his hand at the contact, he had held on to her hand. And he hadn't seemed like he had wanted to let go. The emotions that had flickered through his lovely blue eyes, as they had stared at each other then...she hadn't known how to identify each emotion. She hadn't known what all those feelings were called. But...she thought that she had glimpsed longing in his cerulean eyes.

She hadn't wanted him to let go, either. Hastily, she dropped her gaze back to her tabletop. Did that mean something, then? If she hadn't wanted him to stop holding on to her hand? She knew she ought not to feel this way, about a boy whom she knew detested her...but she couldn't stop her own feelings. Logic told her that she shouldn't like it. Her heart disagreed.

That yearning she had seen in his gaze, while he had touched her...was it possible that the Len in her dreams...really did exist?


	17. Chapter 17

_She saw a flash of blond, glinting past her eyes, but an instant later it was gone. She frowned - she could have sworn that, for a moment, there had been someone standing there..._

_Someone with bright blond hair and mournful blue eyes. A teenage boy, it seemed - almost a man. Dressed in rich, luxurious clothes - white clothes which screamed decadence and wealth. She had met his gaze for a heart-stopping instant, and she could vividly recall the shock in his eyes as he stared back at her. But why would he feel shock upon sighting her? After all, she did not know who this boy was..._

_She had laid eyes upon him for long enough to know that he was gorgeous. Yet, what she noticed the most about him was his eyes. Was it possible for someone's eyes to look so...what was that word? Mournful? Desperate? The intensity of his gaze was branded onto her mind, stark and unforgettable. A handsome stranger, not a person she knew, a boy who had disappeared without leaving any trace..._

_Who was he? And why did he run away?_

Miku blinked, shaking herself out of her silly daydream. She was supposed to be paying attention in class, but she appeared to be doing an awfully poor job of that. She sighed softly.

Once again, Len Kagamine had showed up in her thoughts. She didn't understand why she was always thinking about the blond boy, given that he despised her the way he did - was she just that masochistic? To be interested in someone who so blatantly disliked her? Perhaps he didn't even dislike her. Maybe, just maybe, the disdain in his blue eyes whenever he looked at her...maybe it hinted at pure, unadulterated hate.

She glanced around, behind her - Len looked up from the notebook on his table, twirling his pen absently as he did so. His blue gaze met hers, and those eyes narrowed, hostility in their cerulean depths. Her heart in her throat, Miku hastily looked back down at her desk. She tried to swallow, tried to ignore the intense dislike she had seen in his gaze - but she couldn't stop herself from thinking back to this morning.

In Geography class. When he had...touched her hand. Sometimes, she felt like Len couldn't stand the very sight of her...yet, at other times, it appeared that he didn't hate her. Not truly. He was sending off plenty of mixed signals, and she didn't know what he really wanted. _Ah...but then again, I don't understand why I should even care...after all, it's not like he means anything to me. I barely know the boy._

She just didn't like that she...had no idea what to make of him, now. What was he? A friend? A rival? An enemy? Or simply a jerk? Enemies wouldn't help each other, would they? If Len was her enemy, then he wouldn't have helped her in the cafeteria. Her fingers curled into fists on her table, as she tried to get her mind off the infuriating blond. _I don't understand him at all. Why is he so impossibly hard to figure out? He's a puzzle...a beautifully unsolvable puzzle._

Another thing she didn't understand was why he was in all of her classes. It didn't help that he was seated so close to her every single time...they were having Literature now, and Len was seated right behind her. She could practically feel his icy glare, boring into the back of her head, and she resisted the urge to shiver. Her boyfriend, Yuma, only shared Science class and Religious Studies with her. Life was so unfair.

Suddenly, out of the corner of her eyes, she saw something white being shoved at her. She glanced around - it was a note, and hesitantly she took it, wondering who it could possibly be from. It startled Miku, that Len had willingly passed something to her - she thought that since he hated her so much, he would have been unwilling to interact with her, no matter what. She didn't turn around to acknowledge him, nor did he say anything, staying silent.

She unfolded the small piece of white paper, her eyes immediately darting to the middle of it, where a short message was written. She shook her head as she blinked, registering the words on the note. The handwriting itself was neat and elegant - beautiful, in fact. She found herself wishing, in a little corner of her mind, that she could write that nicely - but the larger part of her had been overtaken by shock.

_Meet me outside the school library, right after lessons end. We need to talk. - Len. _She read the message once. Then read it again. And yet another time. Her mind refused to accept what her eyes were telling her - that _Len Kagamine _wanted to talk to her. She couldn't prevent herself from glancing around at him, thinking this was his idea of a joke. When she turned around, Len was already looking back at her.

She waited for him to scowl at her. To frown. To glare. Anything which indicated that he disliked her. Instead...his lips tilted upwards. It was a cold smile, and it didn't reach his narrowed eyes, but it was a smile, nevertheless. And she didn't understand why his hostility towards her decreased, all of a sudden. _Does he have split personality disorder or something? _Len tilted his head towards the note in her hand.

She realised she was holding on to the note tightly, so tightly that the piece of paper was being crushed in her grasp. She immediately relaxed her grip, smoothing the crumpled sheet out so that she could study it, once again. Her gaze met Len's, and the blond boy tilted his head again, a questioning look in his eyes. _He's asking me whether or not I'm going to meet him, _she realised. _Like stated in the note._

Hesitantly, she nodded. Another smile flitted across his lips...a warmer one, this time. But in the blink of an eye, the smile was gone, and she was left wondering if she had just imagined the whole thing. Slowly, her head swivelled back to face the front, to where their teacher was still talking about Romeo and Juliet, and how their forbidden love had brought about great tragedy and suffering to all of the parties involved.

She tried to pay attention, but something - an emotion, it seemed - coiled itself in her gut, distracting her from the lesson. Maybe it was anticipation. Maybe it was icy cold dread. The meeting she had just agreed to lingered on in her mind, and she wondered idly about what Len could possibly want to talk to her about. After all, it wasn't like she had done anything to him...anything worth discussing. Had she?

Throughout the whole lesson, she could feel his intense gaze boring a hole into her back.

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Miku hurried over to the library, feeling rather nervous. Excitement and fear formed a rather intoxicating cocktail in her system, making her feel a little heady. _I wonder if he's there yet._

The library came into sight, and she stiffened, stopping in her tracks. Yes, she had expected this...but seeing Len himself, leaning against the outer walls of the library, made her feel a little...frightened. She had no idea what she ought to expect from this meeting, and a tiny part of her wanted to just run away from here, so that she wouldn't be forced to talk to him. To know what he could possibly want from her...

She took a moment, even through her fear and anticipation, to admire his beauty. Len had not appeared to notice her yet, and she was feeling grateful for that. Her attraction to someone who clearly despised her so...it both confused and annoyed her. Why did she always have to focus so much on his unnatural beauty? As always, the first thought which came to mind was that...he looked like an angel. An angel from Heaven.

He had let down his blond hair, and it was now brushing against his shoulders. Like that time in the forest clearing, he looked so peaceful...so immaculately flawless that he almost didn't seem human. His slender hands were loose and relaxed, hanging freely by his side, and his stance was casual. Carefree. Like he had not a single worry in the world. There was a small smile on his face...a rather wistful smile.

She almost didn't want to approach him, for she knew that the moment she went near him, that delicate peace he was currently experiencing would shatter, breaking into hundreds of tiny, irreparable shards. _But I agreed to meet him. If I don't show up, if I run away now...he will think that I'm a coward. And I don't need to give him any more reasons to look down on me. _Determinedly, she strode forward, making a little cough so she could catch his attention.

His blue eyes immediately flicked open, his gaze arrowing in on her. As expected, the calm little smile on his face faded away, becoming a thing of the past. Miku swallowed, slowing to a stop before him as he pushed himself away from the wall, shoving his hands inside the pockets of his pants. She had to wonder if his hands were balled up into fists, inside his pants pockets. Where she couldn't see them...

''Hatsune,'' he acknowledged her - _though I've never once heard him say my name _- inclining his head towards her. Just a little. She nodded in response, but didn't say anything, just waiting for him to continue. He paused, and something almost like disappointment flitted through his vivid eyes, but then a second later the emotion was gone, and his eyes were blank once more. ''You...you must be wondering why I asked you to come here. To talk to me, of all people.''

Again, she chose to keep her silence, though she could not deny she was quickly becoming rather intrigued. _So he admits that him inviting me out here is rather strange. _Len continued, his eyes drifting to elsewhere...to everywhere other than her. ''You know, I'm tired. I'm so tired of forcing myself to glare at you, every single time I look at you...'' he turned away from her, so all she could see was his back.

His hair was longer at the back. At the sides of his face, those blond locks brushed against his shoulders, but at the back, his hair reached to slightly beyond his neck. Miku had an insane thought - his hair stopped right below his shoulder blades, right above where a pair of wings would have been. If Len did have wings, which, of course, he did not. She wondered why she was thinking of something so silly, then.

Because she wanted to distract herself from what he had just said, perhaps - since it all made absolutely no sense. He was tired of always having to glare at her? But then, she wasn't the one who asked him to treat her this way, like she was no more than an irritating pest to him. Miku felt that she had never done anything to ever warrant such hostility from the blond boy..._nothing other than just existing._

''What are you getting at?'' she asked, her voice soft and hesitant. Len whipped back around at the sound of her voice, his cerulean blue eyes piercing her, making her feel like she could drown in those blue pools. Her breath froze as, all of a sudden, she recalled her daydream, the one with Len in it. _A beautiful boy, with blond hair and the most mournful blue eyes..._Len's eyes now were just like in her daydream.

''What am I getting at?'' he repeated slowly, his lips tilting upwards into a barely-there sort of smile. The bitterness in his voice didn't match the smile on his face, though. ''Nothing, really. I just...'' he sighed, raking his slender fingers through his blond hair. ''I just don't know how to handle all this,'' he finally muttered, his eyes flicking away from her, down to the ground. ''I don't have any idea what to say to you now.''

Impatience flickered through her. ''Then what's the point of telling me to meet you here?'' she asked, trying to keep her voice calm. ''You don't like me, and neither of us try to pretend...well, otherwise. If anyone catches us like this, they're going to get the wrong idea, and that wouldn't be good for either of us -'' her eyes widened as a hand shot out, covering her mouth. His fingers brushed against her lips as she stared at him, just too shocked to react in any way at all.

''Listen to me,'' came the intent whisper. She listened, having no choice but to stay silent anyway - his hand muffled her, preventing her from saying anything understandable. ''I have my reasons for treating you this way. I know I've said before that your very existence alone offends me. But think of me as an idiot now, if you want to. Because it's not you, yourself, which upsets me. It's your reasons to be...''

_My reasons to be? What does he mean...? _He saw the confused look in her eyes, and his lips tilted up into a smile. That smile looked rather forced to her, though. ''Friends?'' he finally asked, startling her even further. ''Let's just...put everything aside, and start anew. I don't think there's any point in hating you...when we have to work on the Science project together, anyway. That would be most...troublesome.''

_Friends. _She wasn't the one who had decided to antagonise him first. _Why? _He was the one who had pushed her away, yet now he was reaching out for her, asking her to forget everything else. All the animosity, all the hostility, all the anger he had tried to hide. _Is this some kind of trick, I wonder? _What would be the point of asking her to forgive him, though? So that they could be...friends. What, exactly, did Len want from her?

_Friends are transient creatures...they provide nothing more than a transient relationship, lasting for a few bright seconds before they flicker out. For someone like me, who has a curse hanging over her head, friends never last more than a few months, at most. Even if I hated someone, I wouldn't try to befriend them - I wouldn't want to curse them in that way. Because my curse in itself is terrible._

She tried to speak, but because of his hand, nothing other than a muffled sound escaped her lips. At once, Len withdrew his hand from her face, his blue eyes watching her the whole while - Miku had to look away from him, feeling a little guilty about what she was going to say. _He at least tried to put that animosity aside, though I still don't know why he disliked me so much. Yet, here I am, unable to offer him any of the same...courtesy he has shown me._

_Does that mean that I'm a terrible person? Perhaps he's right to treat me so disdainfully, then. I've never really done anything to earn his respect, either..._''I-I can't,'' she stammered out, noticing the way his blue eyes widened at her words. ''We can't be friends, Len - and I'm sure you know it, too,'' she looked away. ''If you haven't resolved all your issues with me, then we can't ever possibly befriend each other.''

''Why?'' he asked the one word quietly, his stare penetrating - like he could see beyond her physical shell, to the person she was beneath. She had to resist the urge to fidget. Miku didn't know how to answer without sounding like an idiot...or without seeming like a selfish little brat. _I can't just tell him that I have a curse, and that if he befriends me, he'll die. It's not likely he'll believe me...he dislikes me so._

''I could ask you the same thing,'' she finally replied, exhaling. His fingers clenched into fists, and Len finally nodded, his blond fringe falling over his eyes, covering his face so that she couldn't see his expression. She hoped that she hadn't managed to anger or annoy him...but she needed a way to make him leave her alone. _I don't want to let anyone get too close to me. Besides, I don't fully trust Len...not really..._

''I know I haven't given you many reasons to think too highly of me,'' came the soft whisper. ''But please. Believe me when I say that the problem was...never you. It had always been me, and I don't want to keep giving you the impression that I hate you,'' at this, he looked up. His eyes were blazing with determination, and she couldn't look away from him. ''I don't hate you. I never have, and...I never will.''

Before she could come up with some kind of response, Len reached forward, holding on to her hand. A smile flickered across his face - the most genuine smile she had ever seen him wear, in her presence. ''I'll give you a reason to befriend me. To forgive me for every wrong I've ever done you. I don't mind waiting, you know,'' his eyelids lowered, long eyelashes brushing against his cheeks. ''I don't mind at all...''

_Why is he so different? I don't understand. _She couldn't believe that he was, once again, holding her hand when he normally disliked her so much. Why had he changed so greatly, all of a sudden? He let go of her hand, those burning eyes never leaving her for a single moment, before he finally turned away from her, leaving the library. She remained rooted to the floor, wondering if this was all a mere dream.

Had she been tormented enough by his strange animosity that she dreamt up of this entire episode? Almost unconsciously, Miku pinched herself, then winced in pain, eyes narrowing. No, she was definitely awake, and she could still feel the warmth of his hand, holding on to her own. The intensity of his vivid cerulean eyes, the way his voice slid across her, smooth and velvet - no, she hadn't imagined all that...

Miku didn't know whether she ought to be pleased or horrified, that Len wanted to be friends with her. That he wanted to forget all the coldness between them - the frigidity that was largely of his own making - and make a fresh start with her. What could have triggered something like that from the blond? From what Rin had told her before, Len was obstinate and stubborn. This change of opinion was startling for him, and...she didn't know what to do.

Still, despite everything which had happened, Len had yet to call her by her name. _Will he ever do that, even if he...wants to be friends?_

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_**Solitaryloner: **__I'm going to Korea tomorrow, so don't expect any updates for a week or so. I'll try to update if there is Internet though, since Korea apparently has WiFi everywhere...or at least, that's what I've heard..._


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